On March 19, the moon will be just 356,577km away from Earth, an event that has internet theorists a-quiver with the possibility of extreme weather, earthquakes and volcanoes.
Aaaaaaahhhh hah Hahahahahahahahah! *inhales deeply* Hahahahahahahahaha!! *wipes away tears* Oh god. My side. Hahahaaahahahahah!
Oh goodness, must we endure that same catastrophes that occurred in 1993, the last time the moon was this close? You may not remember those catastrophes, but that’s just because they were so horrific that everyone blotted them out of their memories. Fortunately, we humans are energetic and resourceful. We’ve rebuilt Los Angeles and San Francisco when they were destroyed by the 1993 earthquakes, rebuilt Manhattan after it was wiped out by the gigantic tidal waves, replaced all the cities in Hawaii after the volcanoes all erupted there. Yes, we humans are a marvelous species (even if a bit loony).
I wish he had posted exactly how much closer than normal the Moon will be on March 19. Centimeters? Kilometers? What is the change in gravitational attraction? Inquiring minds want to know.
The only thing I’m upset about is I’ll be in Fort Davis, TX with a brand new telescope that week, and a waxing gibbous Moon in the sky.
On March 19, the moon will be just 356,577km away from Earth, an event that has internet theorists a-quiver with the possibility of extreme weather, earthquakes and volcanoes.
Aaaaaaahhhh hah Hahahahahahahahah! *inhales deeply* Hahahahahahahahaha!! *wipes away tears* Oh god. My side. Hahahaaahahahahah!
Probably! It just won’t be synchronized.
Why didn’t we all die in 1993? Oh yeah, that was before the millenium. Now it’s a whole New Moon. RIGHT!
Here. More than you ever wanted to know about the moon’s orbit.
On top of that they say it’s incontinent…. what a mess…. opps that’s Inconstant. . . Moon that is.
Oh oh, do your math here folks over a thousand klicks closer to Earth than in 1988. And those sinister funding grubbing astronomers keep telling us the moon is drifting further away from Earth. What could they be up to? Sure now someone’s going it say its just a side effect of the Moon’s incontinents.
Here’s one “out” they can (and probably will) use on March 20th:
The calculations were based on the extra weight of the Moon from all the Apollo gear allegedly left there. Since the Lunar Landings were hoaxed, that gear is not there, thus the weight is off, thus the Moon did not destroy the Earth on March 19th!
The best part of this is that I get to pick on my sister because of it. March 19th is her birthday. She turns 25 and the world gets blown up by the moon.
The calculations were based on the extra weight of the Moon from all the Apollo gear allegedly left there. Since the Lunar Landings were hoaxed, that gear is not there, thus the weight is off, thus the Moon did not destroy the Earth on March 19th!
Hmmm…
So that’s why the moon is closer than in 1988, all that trash we dumped on her?
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Well, DM you could always play the ever protective dedicated older bro, do some psychic jujitzu and cast that moon back into orbit where it belongs, all to save your sissies B-day. She’ll be eternally grateful.
Actually, CC, I think my sister would be better at casting the moon further out than me. One of her signature “rage gazes” and it’ll flee to somewhere between the orbits of Jupiter and Saturn.
