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top five regrets of the dying
Posted: 15 February 2012 06:04 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 16 ]
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Excellent, I’m saving them.  I attended another (Xtian) funeral this week and have been tring to find equivilent items; things we can use when when one of us non-believers have our final ending.

That’s why I posted them Gary, to show that these matter more than the other list including religion. And yes Mike that is why they were miserable. They focused on the aspects of their lives that didn’t bring them happiness. Unfortunately not every one finds themselves in a job they enjoy so it’s “nose to the grindstone, shoulder to the wheel” till they kick you in the hole. Occam sounds like he’s one of the lucky ones who’s had a pleasant career change and a job to enjoy. Liked the “bah” occam. It reminds me of the curmudgeon on his front porch howling “ya damn kids, get offin my lawn”!  LOL


Cap’t Jack

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Posted: 15 February 2012 06:37 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 17 ]
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I think it’s a great list.  I’m not too keen about money, but as long as I have money to keep a roof over my head, enough food for my cats and me, phone/internet, clean clothes, medical care, basic needs for myself (and my sons, if need be, given they are grown now) and my cats, that is, I’m happy.  Personally, I really don’t like the economic system we currently have, in part because people don’t know what is enough, but I guess for now we are stuck with it.  It’s a shame too, because I see it as a system based on greed and not on human needs.

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“Sometimes in order to see the light, you have to risk the dark.” ~ Iris Hineman (Lois Smith) The Minority Report

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Posted: 15 February 2012 08:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 18 ]
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And here in the U.S. our society drives us to achieve the American dream. That means big ticket items like a car and a house plus all the crap that goes with it. As a society we are driven to succeed and keep up. We get the least amount of sleep, have the fewest vacations, eat garbage because we don’t cook and die from stress related illnesses while our southern neighbors shut down their businesses in the afternoon and chill. Our life is our work and then we die. We live in and are buried in our suits. If I sound like an aging hippie then, I am! BTW Mriana, you’re the only other cat lover here, right? Most people like dogs andI do too but cats are special. They like you on their terms! Petting them actually lowers your blood pressure or so I ‘ve heard. Any docs out there care to verify that?


Cap’t Jack

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One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests.

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Posted: 22 February 2012 09:42 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 19 ]
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Thevillageatheist - 15 February 2012 07:13 AM

Thought everyone might be interested in this. An atheist colleague of mine sent it to me. He Summers in New Zealand and received this from a friend there. It has to do with a hospice study in Australia.

The top five regrets of the dying were found to be:

1.  I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself and not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3.  I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Not even mentioned were:
1. money
2. power
3. fame
4. political ideas
5. religious differences

Ironic, #3 is my greatest regret


Cap’t Jack

OK now everyone of these regrets seems to be very self centered and I suppose many of my regrets are as well, especially one regarding not following up with a certain young lady after a Moody Blues Concert over thirty years ago. One of the dumbest comments I have ever heard, and we all have heard it numerous times over and over again is, “I have no regrets.” Well, if you have no regrets, you are either Jesus (doubt it), a sociopath (possible), or a liar. The last two are far to often the realm of some professional politicians as you might have noticed lately and at least one of them thinks he is Jesus. (His odds of being a deity are no different than the other Jesus.)

I for one have far too many regrets to put them into a number list. All of the worst ones have to do with some harm I have done to somebody with or without the aid of others of something really, really dumb and or embarrassing said or done. Of those embarrassing issues the worse ones were the ones where ones that also caused harm in some way as well.

In other words my regrets don’t even fit your list either. So my list would be:

1. Harm done to others.
2. Being an idiot in public.

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RMac “The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas—uncertainty, progress, change—into crimes.” Salman Rushdie

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Posted: 23 February 2012 08:03 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 20 ]
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On the subject of regrets:  Since existence is filled with an infinite number of possibilities of either actions or occurrences, and by the nature of existence one can only take advantage of very few, I suppose one could see life as inherently disappointing, a brief moment of awareness during which one is aware that they are missing out on an infinity of possibilities.  In my case, I just try to stay happily fatalistic and enjoy whatever happens, “try” being the operative word.

As far as expressing myself goes, I fabricate/forge architectural iron work.  I’m no artist, maybe on a good day a competent artisan.  So, for me, the art is creating work that the customer identifies with and values.  I don’t have a focused artistic vision of what I should be creating like a fine artist might, and so, much of the satisfaction in a piece comes from working with and educating the client and coming up with something that is significant and valuable to them.  I’m not sure that’s self expression, but it works for me.

I’m getting pretty used to being an idiot in public.  I look on at it as a way to unintentionally improve other peoples lives.  One of the most freeing things I was ever told is that, “You are only a bit actor in any other persons life”, and I figure a role as a comedic, unknown extra is as good as any other.

As I write this it occurs to me that sometimes, for me, the finest pleasures in life are vicarious pleasures.  Being aware of someone or even another species enjoying life, and maybe being able to feel I somehow enabled or nurtured that opportunity is very satisfying.

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Posted: 26 February 2012 02:43 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 21 ]
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Thevillageatheist - 15 February 2012 07:13 AM

Thought everyone might be interested in this. An atheist colleague of mine sent it to me. He Summers in New Zealand and received this from a friend there. It has to do with a hospice study in Australia.

The top five regrets of the dying were found to be:

1.  I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself and not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3.  I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Not even mentioned were:
1. money
2. power
3. fame
4. political ideas
5. religious differences

Ironic, #3 is my greatest regret

Cap’t Jack

I wonder if one pretends as realistically as possible to die every day, if our everyday life will be much better

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Posted: 26 February 2012 03:23 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 22 ]
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I always felt that I was living two lives.

a) making a living.            8-5, I belonged to the company.
b) living.                      After 5 (closing time), I did not even remember the names of my co-workers.

I have been reasonably successful in compartmentalizing and doing both. My greatest regret is not pursuing a higher education. But then I have traveled a good part of the world and found that a valuable experience in itself.

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Posted: 26 February 2012 04:47 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 23 ]
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I wonder if one pretends as realistically as possible to die every day, if our everyday life will be much better


How about the idea of the possibility of dying every day? Reality in other words. Every day should be lived as if it were your last because it may be. We’re not immortal nor will we ever be IMO.

Cap’t Jack

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One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests.

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Posted: 27 February 2012 02:35 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 24 ]
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Write4U - 26 February 2012 03:23 PM

I always felt that I was living two lives.

a) making a living.            8-5, I belonged to the company.
b) living.                      After 5 (closing time), I did not even remember the names of my co-workers.

I have been reasonably successful in compartmentalizing and doing both. My greatest regret is not pursuing a higher education. But then I have traveled a good part of the world and found that a valuable experience in itself.

Marx called that alienation.  confused

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Posted: 27 February 2012 03:01 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 25 ]
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garythehuman - 27 February 2012 02:35 PM
Write4U - 26 February 2012 03:23 PM

I always felt that I was living two lives.

a) making a living.            8-5, I belonged to the company.
b) living.                      After 5 (closing time), I did not even remember the names of my co-workers.

I have been reasonably successful in compartmentalizing and doing both. My greatest regret is not pursuing a higher education. But then I have traveled a good part of the world and found that a valuable experience in itself.

Marx called that alienation.  confused

Thay is why I said my only regret is not to have pursued higher education. A bookkeeper does not need to be engaged after the books are balanced… grin  Fortunately, now that I am retired I am able to be fully engaged in a few of the things I missed out on, such as stimulating and educational conversation, much of which I find here in CFI.
Don’t misunderstand, my life has been full and varied and I have contributed to society in a host of endeavors. But I have never been ambitious, perhaps things came too easily to me.

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Art is the creation of that which evokes an emotional response, leading to thoughts of the noblest kind.
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Posted: 27 February 2012 03:18 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 26 ]
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Write4U - 27 February 2012 03:01 PM
garythehuman - 27 February 2012 02:35 PM
Write4U - 26 February 2012 03:23 PM

I always felt that I was living two lives.

a) making a living.            8-5, I belonged to the company.
b) living.                      After 5 (closing time), I did not even remember the names of my co-workers.

I have been reasonably successful in compartmentalizing and doing both. My greatest regret is not pursuing a higher education. But then I have traveled a good part of the world and found that a valuable experience in itself.

Marx called that alienation.  confused

Thay is why I said my only regret is not to have pursued higher education. A bookkeeper does not need to be engaged after the books are balanced… grin  Fortunately, now that I am retired I am able to be fully engaged in a few of the things I missed out on, such as stimulating and educational conversation, much of which I find here in CFI.
Don’t misunderstand, my life has been full and varied and I have contributed to society in a host of endeavors. But I have never been ambitious, perhaps things came too easily to me.

Sounds familar, it appears we are much the same.

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Gary the Human

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