Have you ever tried doing the Lords prayer? It really does work!
Posted: 29 April 2012 10:29 PM   [ Ignore ]
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How do you start a relationship with God?

Realize that you are a sinner.
No matter how good a life we try to live, we still fall miserably short of being a good person. That is because we are all sinners. We all fall short of God’s desire for us to be holy. The Bible says, “No one is good—not even one” (Romans 3:10 NLT). This is because we can not become who we are supposed to be without Jesus Christ.

Recognize that Jesus Christ died on the cross for you.
The Bible tells us, “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while were still sinners” (Romans 5:8 NLT). This is the Good News, that God loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die in our place when we least deserved it.

Repent of your sin.
The Bible tells us, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away” (Acts 3:19 NLT). The word repent means to change our direction in life. Instead of running from God, we can run toward Him.

Receive Jesus Christ into your life.
Becoming a Christian is not merely believing some creed or going to church on Sunday. It is having Christ Himself take residence in your life and heart. Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door [of your life] and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in. . .” (Revelation 3:20 NKJV).

My brother Ken keyed me on to this prayer. He said that it would help me have a relationship with God. I’d swear that each time I repeated this, that I could feel my intelligence decreasing. It’s amazingly powerful!

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Posted: 30 April 2012 04:00 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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ExMachina - 29 April 2012 10:29 PM

How do you start a relationship with God?

Realize that you are a sinner.
No matter how good a life we try to live, we still fall miserably short of being a good person. That is because we are all sinners. We all fall short of God’s desire for us to be holy. The Bible says, “No one is good—not even one” (Romans 3:10 NLT). This is because we can not become who we are supposed to be without Jesus Christ.

Recognize that Jesus Christ died on the cross for you.
The Bible tells us, “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while were still sinners” (Romans 5:8 NLT). This is the Good News, that God loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die in our place when we least deserved it.

Repent of your sin.
The Bible tells us, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away” (Acts 3:19 NLT). The word repent means to change our direction in life. Instead of running from God, we can run toward Him.

Receive Jesus Christ into your life.
Becoming a Christian is not merely believing some creed or going to church on Sunday. It is having Christ Himself take residence in your life and heart. Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door [of your life] and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in. . .” (Revelation 3:20 NKJV).

My brother Ken keyed me on to this prayer. He said that it would help me have a relationship with God. I’d swear that each time I repeated this, that I could feel my intelligence decreasing. It’s amazingly powerful!

Well E.M., you must not be doing it right, because it simply must work!  Doesn’t it? rolleyes

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Posted: 30 April 2012 07:09 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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How funny, I was just shown a facebook post that I was hoping to find a way to slide in and then I see this thread. 

You are the result of four billion years of evolutionary success.

Fucking Act Like It!

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Posted: 30 April 2012 07:21 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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mid atlantic - 30 April 2012 04:00 AM
ExMachina - 29 April 2012 10:29 PM

How do you start a relationship with God?

Realize that you are a sinner.
No matter how good a life we try to live, we still fall miserably short of being a good person. That is because we are all sinners. We all fall short of God’s desire for us to be holy. The Bible says, “No one is good—not even one” (Romans 3:10 NLT). This is because we can not become who we are supposed to be without Jesus Christ.

Recognize that Jesus Christ died on the cross for you.
The Bible tells us, “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while were still sinners” (Romans 5:8 NLT). This is the Good News, that God loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die in our place when we least deserved it.

Repent of your sin.
The Bible tells us, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away” (Acts 3:19 NLT). The word repent means to change our direction in life. Instead of running from God, we can run toward Him.

Receive Jesus Christ into your life.
Becoming a Christian is not merely believing some creed or going to church on Sunday. It is having Christ Himself take residence in your life and heart. Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door [of your life] and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in. . .” (Revelation 3:20 NKJV).

My brother Ken keyed me on to this prayer. He said that it would help me have a relationship with God. I’d swear that each time I repeated this, that I could feel my intelligence decreasing. It’s amazingly powerful!

Well E.M., you must not be doing it right, because it simply must work!  Doesn’t it? rolleyes

I beg to differ. I think it’s working as intended.

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Posted: 30 April 2012 07:28 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Personally I wouldn’t mind losing my hearing with age. I’d finally get some peace and quiet

Been there, done that, don’t count on it!  Also, I like CC’s quote but would change it to say FUCKING GET OVER IT! big surprise


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Posted: 30 April 2012 07:34 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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You are the result of four billion years of evolutionary success.
FUCKING GET OVER IT!
Then, start acting like it!

cool smile

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Posted: 30 April 2012 07:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Better!  LOL But remember, the Earth is only 6,000 years old CC! Juheeezus says so!


Cap’t Jack

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One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests.

Thomas Paine

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Posted: 30 April 2012 10:24 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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Geez, I certainly agree, E-M.  If I were to keep repeating that I’d lose about five IQ points each time.  Eventually I’d get to zero and be a good candidate for any local evangelical church.  The only problem is that as I read that weirdness, my first reaction was nausea.  I think I’d get a bleeding ulcer before I got converted. 

And I’m a bit confused.  Did your brother just say

it would help {you} have a relationship with God.

or did he also add that you’d

swear that each time {you} repeated this, that {you} could feel {your} intelligence decreasing

?  I’m guessing that he said only the former and that you added the latter. smile

Occam

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Posted: 30 April 2012 02:10 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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Hello Occam, Yes the “finding God” part is what the religion tells you what will happen, but the decrease in intellect is the expected result. LOL Once the IQ hits below 70 you’ll be a mindless convert.

smile I wasn’t sure how many here thought I was being converted.

[ Edited: 30 April 2012 02:13 PM by ExMachina ]
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Posted: 30 April 2012 05:42 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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I had no problem.  Maybe it takes a wise-ass to recognize another W-A.  LOL

Occam

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