Let the smiting begin!
Posted: 19 June 2012 08:03 AM   [ Ignore ]
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Funny how so many Xians like to rail against Sharia law when their own holy book has so much good stuff of its own!

1znxylz.jpg

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Posted: 19 June 2012 08:38 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Thanks for sharing this!  I’ve seen it before but I get a fresh laugh out of it every time I see it.  I had a bit of trouble reading the text in the picture you posted (is that a digital photo of a monitor?) so I’m quoting the full text below.

Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said “in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman.” I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

I have a few points I want to bring up about it, though.
1) James Kauffman did not write that letter.  For more information, please see http://drlauraletter.com/
2) This letter was originally written in 2000, at which point Dr. Laura was Jewish, not Christian.

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Posted: 19 June 2012 09:19 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Austin, thanks for digging up the text. That was an image from FaceBook. I had not seen it before. I figured, like most Internet memes, that it was at least partly not true. But either way it’s damn funny!

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“I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”—Edith Sitwell

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Posted: 19 June 2012 11:20 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Should I smite them? lol

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Posted: 19 June 2012 04:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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IMHO, Xianity has its own version of Sharia.

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Mriana
“Sometimes in order to see the light, you have to risk the dark.” ~ Iris Hineman (Lois Smith) The Minority Report

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Posted: 19 June 2012 06:56 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Funny, Dr. Laura is a nut concerning religious morality.

There are some explicit nude photos of her online, taken back in the 1960’s or 70’s; she was obviously not as righteous then.

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Posted: 20 June 2012 04:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Funny, Dr. Laura is a nut concerning religious morality.

There are some explicit nude photos of her online, taken back in the 1960’s or 70’s; she was obviously not as righteous then.

That makes Dr. Laura the Aimee Semple McPherson of the late 20th Century! She and Ann coulter are cut from the same cloth; they both make mega cash from conservative causes but probably don’t believe the blather that they spout. Hmmm, wonder what mag. Doc Laura posed for? Hustler sounds appropriate.  smile

 

Cap’t Jack

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Posted: 20 June 2012 07:19 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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Should I smite them? lol

If you think the Bible is the true, perfect, and inerrant word of god, then you should. Publicly at that.

Let’s set up some stands to sell beer and hot dogs for this “Gala” event! Let the executions begin! wink

(Personally, I think that the Bible proves that if God exists and the Bible is His word, then He is a melevolant sociopath with the manners and morals of a child coupled with a genocidal streak, but what the hell.)

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Posted: 20 June 2012 01:11 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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Mriana - 19 June 2012 04:59 PM

IMHO, Xianity has its own version of Sharia.

Well, we can laugh about most of the things in that letter, since almost no Christian abides by them, anymore, (most are not aware of the laws in the Old Testament).  However, Sharia Law is practiced today to some extent or another in many predominately Islamic countries.  People are being stoned or beheaded for things like adultery in some places.  There are even places, apparently where young girls are still being subjceted to genital mutilation (their take on circumcision for females being in line with the provisions of Islam).  And I know the Christians were historically just as bad or worse, but that is not the case today.  I am not defending Christianity by any means, I am just asserting that Sharia Law is in place today and it is possible that it will come to predominate more and more societies.  I doubt that the same danger is posed regarding the possible re-establishment of the laws of Leviticus.

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As a fabrication of our own consciousness, our assignations of meaning are no less “real”, but since humans and the fabrications of our consciousness are routinely fraught with error, it makes sense, to me, to, sometimes, question such fabrications.

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Posted: 20 June 2012 06:50 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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(their take on circumcision for females being in line with the provisions of Islam).

Oddly enough, Tim, it isn’t. At least not as far as Al Qu’ran is concerned. I’ve read it and nowhere does it call for female genital mutilation.

Of course, where religions are concerned, just because a practice isn’t even mentioned or endorsed in it’s own scriptures has never stopped the believers from claiming that it is! Christians where I live do it all the time!

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Posted: 20 June 2012 08:21 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Thevillageatheist - 20 June 2012 04:49 AM

Funny, Dr. Laura is a nut concerning religious morality.

There are some explicit nude photos of her online, taken back in the 1960’s or 70’s; she was obviously not as righteous then.

That makes Dr. Laura the Aimee Semple McPherson of the late 20th Century! She and Ann coulter are cut from the same cloth; they both make mega cash from conservative causes but probably don’t believe the blather that they spout. Hmmm, wonder what mag. Doc Laura posed for? Hustler sounds appropriate.  smile

 

Cap’t Jack

Yeah, I wouldn’t be shocked to find out they’re bullsh***ers.

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Posted: 22 June 2012 01:01 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Equal Opportunity Curmudgeon - 20 June 2012 06:50 PM

(their take on circumcision for females being in line with the provisions of Islam).

Oddly enough, Tim, it isn’t. At least not as far as Al Qu’ran is concerned. I’ve read it and nowhere does it call for female genital mutilation.

Of course, where religions are concerned, just because a practice isn’t even mentioned or endorsed in it’s own scriptures has never stopped the believers from claiming that it is! Christians where I live do it all the time!

As I recall, female circumcision is mentioned in the Quran, but my interprettion of that verse (surrah?) does not call for genital mutilation.  As I recall my reading and interpretation of it is nothing like how it has been interpreted and carried out in some cultures claiming Islamic practice and reportedly mutilating the girls. So, you are right, the Quran does not call for genital mutilation, but it has been interpreted and carried out in practice by some subcultures of Muslims.

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As a fabrication of our own consciousness, our assignations of meaning are no less “real”, but since humans and the fabrications of our consciousness are routinely fraught with error, it makes sense, to me, to, sometimes, question such fabrications.

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Posted: 22 June 2012 03:03 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]
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I checked, the saying that I was thinking of was not a surrah (verse of the Quran), rather it was something attributed to have been said by Muhammed (things taught by Muhammed are also considered absolutely holy).  He said (about the practice of circumcision)  “Do not exaggerate, because it (a part of women’s genital that is cut off) is pleasing to women (wives) and is the most desirable to husbands. In another narrative the Prophet said, “Cut off only its tip and do not overdo it, because it is very pleasing and is a part that husbands like the most.”

So, it sounds to me that he advocated a very cautious conservative method in the practice of female circumcision (and IMO the only sane thing one could consider if one were going to circumsize a female, i.e., removing only skin covering the clitoris (clitoral hood), and not the clitoris itself).

(Note: personal rhetorical comment—How idiotic can any human be, to think that cutting off a clitoris is anything other than a sick horrible thing to do? In answer to my own rhetorical question, my guess is that the actual contingencies that lead to it and maintained it, had/has to do with social control of the females rather than devout religious belief.)  However, the practice of mutilation continues even today, in the name of a religion.

[ Edited: 22 June 2012 03:14 PM by TimB ]
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As a fabrication of our own consciousness, our assignations of meaning are no less “real”, but since humans and the fabrications of our consciousness are routinely fraught with error, it makes sense, to me, to, sometimes, question such fabrications.

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Posted: 22 June 2012 09:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]
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mid atlantic - 19 June 2012 06:56 PM

Funny, Dr. Laura is a nut concerning religious morality.

There are some explicit nude photos of her online, taken back in the 1960’s or 70’s; she was obviously not as righteous then.

It didn’t stop her from having an affair with a married man around the same time either…

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Posted: 22 June 2012 10:37 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]
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asanta - 22 June 2012 09:17 PM
mid atlantic - 19 June 2012 06:56 PM

Funny, Dr. Laura is a nut concerning religious morality.

There are some explicit nude photos of her online, taken back in the 1960’s or 70’s; she was obviously not as righteous then.

It didn’t stop her from having an affair with a married man around the same time either…

I was unaware of that, but it’s totally believable.

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Posted: 23 June 2012 08:09 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]
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Damn!
How does it come that I as an atheist wouldn’t do all these things in the first place, but many politicians which mention god every few seconds, televangelists, born again christians etc. do things which make me shudder if i look them up on a website?

People are strange to think that some one who believes in the laws of a (back then) totally fucked up desert tribe is a better person than someone who is an atheist, they dont get that moral is a set of rules which don’t have to be ethical at all, the Aztecs sacrificed children to the gods while being completely moral, so did Jephthah (his daughter) and after a few discussions with hardcore christians i know they would do it too if god (or a voice in their head) would order them to do so.

(I once asked a guy directly if he would sacrifice his children if god asked him, he said god would never do that, said that this is a stupid question, and told me that he himself would die for god if this would help answer my question.)

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