Jebus in Spaaaaaaaaace!!!!
Posted: 19 July 2012 04:12 PM   [ Ignore ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  373
Joined  2012-02-02

One hopes that this is a hoax, but if it is, I can’t find anything.

I propose launching into polar orbit a cross of significant dimensions, with a sun-reflecting surface that will be easily visible in the night sky to the naked eyes of unbelievers. This space-age testimonial will fly over Communist China, Mussulmanned Saudi Arabia, Hindooed India, Godless France, and all other nations in need of the simple yet profound message of Christ’s sacrifice and His offer of Salvation. All the people of the world will see it shine, like a beacon of hope on the runway of the aircraft carrier of the night sky, an omnipresent reminder of the Lordship of Jesus over our world.

Unlike Mr. Blessitt’s plan, mine will require a more elaborate cross design and access to more costly launch services, as it would necessarily require multiple single-payload launches. Fortunately I feel that my connections within the Department of Defense will help bring this plan to fruition.

The electrical systems will include computer and control systems necessary for repositioning the cross should it need to avoid orbital debris, and also to realign it so as to aim its reflected glory at target nations during times of spiritual warfare. (Imagine, if you will, a pitched battle between our brave forces and the Islamofascists, when, seemingly out of nowhere, a giant reflection of a cross sweeps across the battlefield. At that moment of revelation the Islamofascists will see the error of their ways, drop their arms, and surrender — not to Islam, but to Christ! Bloodshed averted and new souls won. Such will be the power of Orbital Cross Alpha.)

I believe that the best option — the only option that makes sense, really — is to use the launch vehicles maintained by the US Air Force. Unlike NASA, the USAF is solidly committed to the mandate of Christianity. With both Air Force Space Command (AFSPC) and the Air Force Academy located within the sphere of influence of numerous Christian outreach organizations in Colorado Springs, we can be sure that the OCA program will be made Priority One. We have been bringing up Air Force cadets with strong training in Evangelism for precisely this sort of mission; now is the time for them to show what a fully Christianized Air Force can accomplish.

The “inspiration” for this, is him being butthurt over the media ignoring the small cross a friend of his had on the same rocket that put James “Scotty” Doohan’s ashes into space.  There’s all kinds of crazy on the site (along with numerous typos), like people insisting that Christ was crucified using four nails.  (Really?  That’s a subject of theological debate?  How many nails?  WTF difference would it make?  Is it somehow important to the salvation of souls if the Romans did or didn’t decide to economize on how many nails they used?)

Profile
 
 
Posted: 19 July 2012 05:25 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  4615
Joined  2007-10-05

There is some serious crazy going on there. Paranoia, entitlement, and a total disconnect from reality. I’d love to see him sneak his shining cross project into the Air Force budget. The ACLU, every amateur astronomy club in the U.S. and every atheist organization in the U.S. would be all over that.

 Signature 

“In the beginning, God created the universe. This has made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Profile
 
 
Posted: 19 July 2012 06:09 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2579
Joined  2011-04-24

Yeah, total maniac.  ohh

I wonder if this douchebag sees the irony in resorting to theatrics in order to “capture souls” for Christ? It almost seems like admitting that there is no power of the lord - because there’s no lord.

Religion is basically show - biz!

 Signature 

Raise your glass if you’re wrong…. in all the right ways.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 19 July 2012 08:09 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  373
Joined  2012-02-02

Well, if they’re intending to capture souls, I’d think one of these would be far more useful than a giant orbiting cross.

05secret_scientologist_xenu_story21.jpg

Profile
 
 
Posted: 25 July 2012 08:34 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
Jr. Member
Avatar
Rank
Total Posts:  24
Joined  2011-04-07

In the highly unlikely event of this project actually succeeding (it’s improbable but not impossible), it would be hilarious (in that dry, morbid sort of way) if the reflected light from a giant space cross disturbed photosynthesis and sleeping cycles of animals to the point of collapsing the worldwide ecology and bringing upon the much-coveted End of Days. Can you say “self-fulfilling prophecy”? wink

 Signature 

Author of “Atheism 101: Answers, Explanations and Rebuttals” (now available on Kindle! smile )

Profile
 
 
Posted: 26 July 2012 04:55 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  1064
Joined  2007-06-20

Objective Ministries is a parody site. 

One of my favorites is their great Dinosaur Expedition 2002 where they went to Africa in search of a living Apatosaurus to invalidate evolution.  Hint: They found one, complete with photographic “evidence.” grin  It’s hilarious and obvious parody. 

Besides, no cross could ever be put in orbit because Louis Farrakhan’s heavily armed, city-sized Mother-Wheel currently orbiting the Earth ready to reign down destruction on whitey and all those who oppose Islam (The Religion of Peace (TM) (R) (SM) (c) ) would immediately zap it out of the sky with its Ray Gun.  And Louie should know.  He’s been on the “Mother-Wheel” personally!  So, unlike Objective Ministries, Calypso Louie and his followers really do believe their space fantasy. 

Another case of truth being stranger than fiction.  The “truth” in this case is not that there is a “Mother-Wheel” (there isn’t, and that’s probably a hate-crime just to deny it), but rather Farrakhan’s claim meant to be taken seriously as opposed to the well-written comedy coming from OM.

 Signature 

There are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by the gradual and silent encroachment of those in power, than by violent and sudden usurpation.

—James Madison

Profile
 
 
Posted: 26 July 2012 05:05 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  4615
Joined  2007-10-05
Rocinante - 26 July 2012 04:55 AM

Objective Ministries is a parody site.

Doh!  red face

 Signature 

“In the beginning, God created the universe. This has made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Profile
 
 
Posted: 26 July 2012 08:15 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  373
Joined  2012-02-02

Well, as I said in my OP, I’d hoped as much.

Speaking of the Nation of Islam, their members are going to be trained in “auditing” by Scientologist.  That’s going to get “interesting” real quick, I think.

Profile