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Heard any good jokes lately?
Posted: 30 October 2012 01:47 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 106 ]
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oops…...What did one seriously dehydrated frenchman say to the other seriously dehydrated frenchman ?
” Well, what do we do now Pierre?”...........................................pee air ?

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Posted: 30 October 2012 08:51 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 107 ]
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sine dues - 30 October 2012 01:47 PM

oops…...What did one seriously dehydrated frenchman say to the other seriously dehydrated frenchman ?
” Well, what do we do now Pierre?”...........................................pee air ?

wee wee, I mean oui oui.

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As a fabrication of our own consciousness, our assignations of meaning are no less “real”, but since humans and the fabrications of our consciousness are routinely fraught with error, it makes sense, to me, to, sometimes, question such fabrications.

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Posted: 31 October 2012 02:20 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 108 ]
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TimB - 30 October 2012 08:51 PM
sine dues - 30 October 2012 01:47 PM

oops…...What did one seriously dehydrated frenchman say to the other seriously dehydrated frenchman ?
” Well, what do we do now Pierre?”...........................................pee air ?

wee wee, I mean oui oui.

ugh

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Gary the Human

All the Gods and all religions are created by humans, to meet human needs and accomplish human ends.

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Posted: 05 November 2012 07:31 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 109 ]
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Have you heard about the new bar drink called a Sandy?

It’s a watered down Manhattan.

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“In the beginning, God created the universe. This has made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

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Posted: 07 November 2012 05:43 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 110 ]
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Not a joke, but where else would this go?

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/11/07/3394547/ny-man-who-lost-leg-in-crucifix.html#wgt=rcntnews

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If we’re not laughing, they’re winning.

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Posted: 07 November 2012 06:32 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 111 ]
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Jeciron - 07 November 2012 05:43 AM

Not a joke, but where else would this go?

http://www.centredaily.com/2012/11/07/3394547/ny-man-who-lost-leg-in-crucifix.html#wgt=rcntnews

He should have taken his wife’s oncologist to dinner.

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“In the beginning, God created the universe. This has made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

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Posted: 19 November 2012 02:08 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 112 ]
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A FISH STORY
I went fishing one morning but after a short time I ran out of worms.  Then I saw a cottonmouth snake with a frog in his mouth.

Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head,  took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.  So,  I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.  His eyes rolled back, he went limp.  I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later,  I felt a nudge on my foot.

It was the snake.  With two more frogs.

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Church; where sheep congregate to worship a zombie on a stick that turns into a cracker on Sundays…

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Posted: 19 November 2012 04:51 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 113 ]
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Nice, Asanta.

The new game warden kept hearing stories about a fisherman who was infamous in the game warden’s district for poaching and breaking game laws.  One day on his way home, the warden stopped for a beer, and the outlaw happened to be sitting at the bar.  Under the premise that it was a good idea to know one’s enemies the warden bought the man a beer and started a conversation.  After a bit, the poacher said, “Hey warden, why don’t we go fishing Saturday?”.  The warden agreed, thinking this would be a good chance to learn the man’s haunts and habits.

Early Saturday morning the warden got into the poacher’s boat, and they motored to an idyllic fishing hole.  The poacher dropped anchor, reached under the seat, pulled out a stick of dynamite, lit the fuse and tossed it overboard.  Boom!  Dead fish boiled to the surface.  The warden was stunned.  Before he could regain his wits, the poacher reached under the seat, pulled out and lit another stick of dynamite.  Handing the dynamite with its hissing fuse to the speechless warden he asked, “Hey, Are you just gonna to sit there, or are you gonna fish?”

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Posted: 19 November 2012 08:18 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 114 ]
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Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
A:  Plenty of room.

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Posted: 21 November 2012 03:24 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 115 ]
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?ui=2&ik=9012b38f0c&view=att&th=13b251148f13d125&attid=0.1&disp=thd&realattid=f_h9t0q4io0&zw;

fill in the caption   ___________________________________________________________

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How many times do lies need to be exposed
before we have permission to trash them?

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Posted: 21 November 2012 03:58 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 116 ]
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citizenschallenge.pm - 21 November 2012 03:24 PM

?ui=2&ik=9012b38f0c&view=att&th=13b251148f13d125&attid=0.1&disp=thd&realattid=f_h9t0q4io0&zw;

fill in the caption   ___________________________________________________________

A non functioning web link walks into a bar?...

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As a fabrication of our own consciousness, our assignations of meaning are no less “real”, but since humans and the fabrications of our consciousness are routinely fraught with error, it makes sense, to me, to, sometimes, question such fabrications.

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Posted: 22 November 2012 08:29 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 117 ]
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Why does DR. Pepper come in bottles ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

........................................because his wife died…...................

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Posted: 22 November 2012 10:34 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 118 ]
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For the record this “I” is not me.


The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a..m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up ...
and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed…. 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him ‘MIDNIGHT’... he didn’t seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’
When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh shit.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

{tip of the hat to Paula… who stole it from Facebook… then I stole it from her… is it possible to steal jokes?}

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How many times do lies need to be exposed
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Posted: 23 November 2012 12:34 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 119 ]
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Two scientists walked into a bar; First one said “I’ll take some H2O”. The second scientist said, “I’ll take some H2O too,” and died.

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Church; where sheep congregate to worship a zombie on a stick that turns into a cracker on Sundays…

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Posted: 23 November 2012 12:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 120 ]
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But he had very clean, bacteria free insides.  smile

Occam

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Succinctness, clarity’s core.

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