11 of 14
11
Heard any good jokes lately?
Posted: 20 June 2013 06:12 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 151 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  9301
Joined  2006-08-29

5ocy74.jpg

Profile
 
 
Posted: 20 June 2013 06:36 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 152 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  4844
Joined  2007-10-05

616-5.jpg

 Signature 

You cannot have a rational conversation with someone who holds irrational beliefs.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 24 June 2013 11:48 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 153 ]
Moderator
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5551
Joined  2010-06-16

A friend sent me this:

Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn’t do something useful with my time.
Talking about my “doing something useful” seems to be her favorite topic of
conversation.  She says she is “only thinking of me” and suggested I go down to the
senior center and hang out with the guys.

I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about
staying out of my business.  I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said, “Are you nuts?  You’re almost 75 years old and you’re going to start
jumping out of airplanes?”  I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, “Good grief, where were your glasses!  This is a membership to a
Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club.”

“Good lord, I’m in trouble again and I don’t know what to do…. I signed up for five
jumps a week,” I told her.

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.

Occam

 Signature 

Succinctness, clarity’s core.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 02 July 2013 08:02 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 154 ]
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  266
Joined  2012-09-14

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5er_9Uax-Q—-how to identify a Muslim Extremist (only till 3:20)

 Signature 

Say: He is God, the Unique.
God, the Self-Sufficient.
He does not give birth, nor was He born.
And there is none equal to Him.

Quran (112: 1-4)

Profile
 
 
Posted: 02 July 2013 08:02 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 155 ]
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  266
Joined  2012-09-14

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OC5HzIqUx8

[ Edited: 02 July 2013 08:08 PM by I.J. Abdul Hakeem ]
 Signature 

Say: He is God, the Unique.
God, the Self-Sufficient.
He does not give birth, nor was He born.
And there is none equal to Him.

Quran (112: 1-4)

Profile
 
 
Posted: 07 July 2013 02:45 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 156 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  6103
Joined  2009-02-26

No jokes, but these optical illusions may still be fascinating.

Take a diamond and slide it over another color
http://www.michaelbach.de/ot/lum_diamond/index.html
 
and, which way is she spinning?
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=spinning+silhouette&mid=073B541FC20F2AABE942073B541FC20F2AABE942&view=detail&FORM=VIRE3

[ Edited: 07 July 2013 02:48 AM by Write4U ]
 Signature 

Art is the creation of that which evokes an emotional response, leading to thoughts of the noblest kind.
W4U

Profile
 
 
Posted: 07 July 2013 09:37 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 157 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  3204
Joined  2011-08-15

I saw the spinning girl on the TV show “Brain Games” on the National Geo channel. Very cool! It’s all about perception and how the brain is fooled by motion. A pop magician even reveals some of his secrets and how male and female brains react to light. Color and liner/lateral thinking.


Cap’t Jack

 Signature 

One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests.

Thomas Paine

Profile
 
 
Posted: 10 July 2013 09:29 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 158 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  4350
Joined  2010-08-15

you wanna see an optical illusion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44mw37d8LQw

let’s dance   cool smile

 Signature 

We need each other, to keep ourselves honest

Profile
 
 
Posted: 14 August 2013 11:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 159 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  514
Joined  2010-11-21

Please, do not even attempt to read the last post of this thread!

It’s a stupid joke!

 Signature 

I eat without fear of certain Death from The Tree of Knowledge because with wisdom, we may one day break free from its mortal curse.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 15 August 2013 03:10 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 160 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2698
Joined  2011-04-24
Scott Mayers - 14 August 2013 11:40 PM

Please, do not even attempt to read the last post of this thread!

It’s a stupid joke!

Did you post a joke the wrong way? I can’t get anything.

 Signature 

Raise your glass if you’re wrong…. in all the right ways.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 20 August 2013 07:53 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 161 ]
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  291
Joined  2011-09-13

On his last day as a missionary to a tropical island the preacher realized he had not taught the natives any English.

So he went with a walk with the Chief and pointed at things calling them by their English names.

He pointed to a tree, said tree, and the Chief replied with the word tree.

He then pointed to a rock, said rock, and the Chief replied with the word rock.

The preacher was impressed that the Chief was such a quick learner.

Then the preacher heard noise coming form the bushes, pulled them apart and saw two of the natives doing tthe big nasty.

Not sure what to say, the preacher said man riding bicycle.

The Chief calmly pull out two arrows and shot the man and woman.

The preacher said “How could you do such a thing after all I have said about human good”.


The Chief replied, my bicycle.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 20 August 2013 09:08 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 162 ]
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2602
Joined  2012-10-27
Occam. - 06 August 2012 06:26 PM

It’s old, but my favorite blond joke is: 
Why are blond jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

(Sorry, Darron, but that joke did wonders for me with quite a few blonds.  LOL  )

Occam

The best blonde joke is Donald Trump.

Lois

Profile
 
 
Posted: 20 August 2013 10:27 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 163 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  3204
Joined  2011-08-15

The best blonde joke is Donald Trump.

He has Orangutan-like hair Lois. LOL see the Bill Maher lawsuit.

 

Cap’t Jack

 Signature 

One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests.

Thomas Paine

Profile
 
 
Posted: 20 August 2013 03:28 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 164 ]
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2602
Joined  2012-10-27
Thevillageatheist - 20 August 2013 10:27 AM

The best blonde joke is Donald Trump.

He has Orangutan-like hair Lois. LOL see the Bill Maher lawsuit.


Ok, he’s a strawberry blonde Orangutan joke. wink


Cap’t Jack

Profile
 
 
Posted: 25 August 2013 05:45 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 165 ]
Moderator
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5551
Joined  2010-06-16

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students says, “Human beings are the only animals that stutter.” 
A little girl raises her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
“I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!”
“That must’ve been scary,” said the teacher.
“It sure was,” said the little girl. “My kitty raised her back, went ‘Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Fffffff,’ but before she could say ‘F__k!,’ the Rottweiler ate her!”
====
Sorry about the minor censoring.
Occam

[ Edited: 25 August 2013 05:49 PM by Occam. ]
 Signature 

Succinctness, clarity’s core.

Profile
 
 
   
11 of 14
11