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Heard any good jokes lately?
Posted: 16 August 2012 11:35 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 46 ]
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That’s just mean George. I bet the little fella on the left had his feelings hurt! LOL


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Posted: 20 August 2012 08:46 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 47 ]
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Sign in the post office:

  WANTED

DEAD AND ALIVE

  SCHRODINGER’S CAT

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Free in Kentucky
—Humanist
“I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”—Edith Sitwell

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Posted: 20 August 2012 09:33 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 48 ]
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Ion 1: “I lost an electron!”
Ion 2: “Are you positive?”

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Free in Kentucky
—Humanist
“I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”—Edith Sitwell

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Posted: 20 August 2012 09:56 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 49 ]
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I think I posted this dumb joke before:
A termite walks into a pub and asks, “Where’s the bartender?”

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Row row row your boat gently down the stream.  Merrily Merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream!

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Posted: 20 August 2012 10:10 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 50 ]
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FreeInKy - 20 August 2012 08:46 AM

Sign in the post office:

  WANTED

DEAD AND ALIVE

  SCHRODINGER’S CAT

See the attachment here.

See also:

tumblr_lje2chWa8u1qzma4ho1_400.jpg

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GdB

“The light is on, but there is nobody at home”

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Posted: 20 August 2012 10:29 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 51 ]
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Funny, GdB. But that is only possible when you are alone on the road. If other drivers see you, you can’t do it.  grin

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Posted: 20 August 2012 10:45 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 52 ]
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Actually, driving does fall under the rules of QM. When you are driving a snowmobile in Antarctica, you could never commit anything that is either legal nor illegal—not sure if it would be against some international law to deliberately run over penguins, though. But if you were to put a legal system on Antarctica, i.e., an observer, every act of your driving becomes either legal or illegal. Einstein was wrong, QM is correct.

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Posted: 20 August 2012 11:28 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 53 ]
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George - 20 August 2012 10:29 AM

Funny, GdB. But that is only possible when you are alone on the road. If other drivers see you, you can’t do it.  grin

In QM that is not true. Of course you do not need just a quantum lane. You need quantum cars too.

I’ve never heard of quantum police…

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GdB

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Posted: 20 August 2012 11:31 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 54 ]
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Okay, I guess I am not as funny as I think…  blank stare

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Posted: 23 August 2012 10:05 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 55 ]
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FreeInKy - 15 August 2012 12:08 PM

A man walks into a bar. A second man walks into the bar. The third man ducks.

Perhaps the bar should be set higher?

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Gary the Human

All the Gods and all religions are created by humans, to meet human needs and accomplish human ends.

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Posted: 23 August 2012 10:09 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 56 ]
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I hope you’re referring to the level of jokes, Gary.  LOL

Occam

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Posted: 23 August 2012 10:18 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 57 ]
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Occam. - 23 August 2012 10:09 AM

I hope you’re referring to the level of jokes, Gary.  LOL

Occam

LOL

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Posted: 23 August 2012 02:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 58 ]
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OK, this one is bad taste but it’s always tickled me.

A man and boy walk past a dead dog with it’s legs pointing upwards and the boy asks his Dad “why’s that?”
His Dad explains that the dog is waiting for Jesus to take him to heaven.
The boy says “that nearly happened to mum the other day”
Dad says “what do you mean?”
The boy says “she was lying on her back with her arms and legs in the air yelling Jesus I’m cumming and if uncle Frank hadn’t held her down she’d have gone for sure!”

[ Edited: 23 August 2012 02:21 PM by StephenLawrence ]
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Posted: 23 August 2012 03:04 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 59 ]
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That surely sets the bar higher, Stephen.  LOL

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Posted: 04 September 2012 03:07 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 60 ]
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A farmer and his wife go to the county fair.  A pilot is selling rides in an old fashioned, open, two cockpit biplane.  It’s a slow day and to drum up some business the pilot tells the couple, “I’ll take you up for a spin, and if you don’t make any noise, yell, or holler, or anything, the ride is free, but one peep and you pay the full price.

The farmer agrees and the pilot takes off and does every acrobatic maneuver in the book; loops, spins, dives, barrel rolls.  There’s not a sound from the other cockpit.

Upon landing the pilot tells the farmer, “Wow!, I guess you earned a free ride, but honestly, wasn’t there at least one moment when you wanted to yell?”  And the farmer replies, “Well, There was that time that Ma fell out.”

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