Megachurches are to be expected, religion is “show biz” after all.
Too bad we can’t be like that.
There it is, Mike! The mega church holds an “event” every Sunday with loud music, flashing lights, group participation, hands raised to god and shouting in tongues. Something we’re all used to at a sporting event, say football or baseball. Then a brief announcement as the “main event” of the morning unfolds when the exorter mounts the podium ( not a sexual innuendo like Tim’s of course, let’s be clean about this and none of that porn stuff guys) slowly raising his voice as he wades through the lesson starting with a zinger from the book and ending with a crescendo from the organ, or the band exalting the lord and admonishing those sinners in the audience to show their fealty through public confession (tears at this point) but don’t forget to pay for this emotional entertainment by dipping deep in those pockets, gotta pay the light bill ya know! Then, emotionally drained they make their way to the parking lot ready to tackle the drudgery that is work only to return exhausted next Sun. For another taste of heaven and yet relieved that Jesus didn’t really come back and take the worthy ones up with him cause ya know I really screwed up Wed. And stole some cash from the business for gigs. Ah, churchianity, don’t you just love it?
Megachurches are to be expected, religion is “show biz” after all.
Too bad we can’t be like that.
There it is, Mike! The mega church holds an “event” every Sunday with loud music, flashing lights, group participation, hands raised to god and shouting in tongues. Something we’re all used to at a sporting event, say football or baseball. Then a brief announcement as the “main event” of the morning unfolds when the exorter mounts the podium ( not a sexual innuendo like Tim’s of course, let’s be clean about this and none of that porn stuff guys) slowly raising his voice as he wades through the lesson starting with a zinger from the book and ending with a crescendo from the organ, or the band exalting the lord and admonishing those sinners in the audience to show their fealty through public confession (tears at this point) but don’t forget to pay for this emotional entertainment by dipping deep in those pockets, gotta pay the light bill ya know! Then, emotionally drained they make their way to the parking lot ready to tackle the drudgery that is work only to return exhausted next Sun. For another taste of heaven and yet relieved that Jesus didn’t really come back and take the worthy ones up with him cause ya know I really screwed up Wed. And stole some cash from the business for gigs. Ah, churchianity, don’t you just love it?
Cap’t Jack
Sounds good, though it’s not my cup-of-tea. It might build the ranks.
P.S. I deny the inference that I was being unclean in referencing the word “vagina”. In fact all of the vaginas that I recall being familiar with (in my too remote past) were clean.
(Also, if humanists can’t refer to sexuality once in a while, that’s going to rule out a lot of people wanting to be humanists.)
P.S. I deny the inference that I was being unclean in referencing the word “vagina”. In fact all of the vaginas that I recall being familiar with (in my too remote past) were clean.
Tim, I was being purposefully prudish to make a point not to condemn your sexual remarks! It was a satire on the Victorian mode of thinking often expressed by the fundies who can’t even lace their conversations with with a sexual innuendo every now and then as sex talk is a no no and will send you to hell where the whores live.
Megachurches are to be expected, religion is “show biz” after all.
Too bad we can’t be like that.
There it is, Mike! The mega church holds an “event” every Sunday with loud music, flashing lights, group participation, hands raised to god and shouting in tongues. Something we’re all used to at a sporting event, say football or baseball. Then a brief announcement as the “main event” of the morning unfolds when the exorter mounts the podium ( not a sexual innuendo like Tim’s of course, let’s be clean about this and none of that porn stuff guys) slowly raising his voice as he wades through the lesson starting with a zinger from the book and ending with a crescendo from the organ, or the band exalting the lord and admonishing those sinners in the audience to show their fealty through public confession (tears at this point) but don’t forget to pay for this emotional entertainment by dipping deep in those pockets, gotta pay the light bill ya know! Then, emotionally drained they make their way to the parking lot ready to tackle the drudgery that is work only to return exhausted next Sun. For another taste of heaven and yet relieved that Jesus didn’t really come back and take the worthy ones up with him cause ya know I really screwed up Wed. And stole some cash from the business for gigs. Ah, churchianity, don’t you just love it?
Wow! God loves scat singing. Nice parable though. Darron, where in the hell do you get this stuff? It sounded like a Buddhist or Gregorian chant. And the narrator sounds very familiar.
Wow! God loves scat singing. Nice parable though. Darron, where in the hell do you get this stuff? It sounded like a Buddhist or Gregorian chant. And the narrator sounds very familiar.
Cap’t Jack
Ken Nordine has been recording television and radio voiceovers since the early 1950s, so you’ve probably heard him a lot and just not known it. If you’re old enough to remember the 1970s Levi Jeans commerical you’ll know why Nordine’s voice sounds familiar. I first heard his stuff on a Kansas City radio station in 1971 when I was in high school. Been a fan since. I have about 36 hours of his recordings in my iTunes collection. Nordine calls his personal work Word Jazz. I recommend it very highly. Tom Waits and the Grateful Dead have backed him on some albums.
P.S. I deny the inference that I was being unclean in referencing the word “vagina”. In fact all of the vaginas that I recall being familiar with (in my too remote past) were clean.
Tim, I was being purposefully prudish to make a point not to condemn your sexual remarks! It was a satire on the Victorian mode of thinking often expressed by the fundies who can’t even lace their conversations with with a sexual innuendo every now and then as sex talk is a no no and will send you to hell where the whores live.
Cap’t Jack
Whew! Thank Humanism for that (the part about being prudish to make a point, not the part about being sent to hell where all the whores live… although…hmm).
Ken Nordine has been recording television and radio voiceovers since the early 1950s, so you’ve probably heard him a lot and just not known it. If you’re old enough to remember the 1970s Levi Jeans commerical you’ll know why Nordine’s voice sounds familiar. I first heard his stuff on a Kansas City radio station in 1971 when I was in high school. Been a fan since. I have about 36 hours of his recordings in my iTunes collection. Nordine calls his personal work Word Jazz. I recommend it very highly. Tom Waits and the Grateful Dead have backed him on some albums.
I do remember the commercial, that’s also the year I finished my undergrad work. Yeah, he sounds awfully like a radio announcer or game show host! And backed by the Dead, Very cool. The YouTube video you recommended has several of his cuts so I’ll check them out. Sounds a little like Cab Calloway’s Minnie the Moucher! Love the scat singing.
These churches, Christian or not, claim they’re “spiritual” and yet they need all these show-y off-y buildings. Strange…
(That doesn’t mean these buildings aren’t nice but that’s another story.)
These churches, Christian or not, claim they’re “spiritual” and yet they need all these show-y off-y buildings. Strange…
(That doesn’t mean these buildings aren’t nice but that’s another story.)
They must be living in a material world… They could hire Madonna as a youth minister…
The question is whether there is a significant number of persons to whom belonging to a church meets some need or desire that cannot otherwise be met. And if so, are some of those persons basically non-theistic Humanists? If that is the case, then I think Humanism should bless them with Churches. Why should only religions provide for that need/desire. Personally, I want as little to do as possible with churches, but that’s just me. The Church of Non-Theistic Humanists is not for me, but it could be for others.
