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God as a drug: The rise of American megachurches
Posted: 27 August 2012 06:21 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 31 ]
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Megachurches are to be expected, religion is “show biz” after all.

Too bad we can’t be like that.

There it is, Mike! The mega church holds an “event” every Sunday with loud music, flashing lights, group participation, hands raised to god and shouting in tongues. Something we’re all used to at a sporting event, say football or baseball. Then a brief announcement as the “main event” of the morning unfolds when the exorter mounts the podium ( not a sexual innuendo like Tim’s of course, let’s be clean about this and none of that porn stuff guys) slowly raising his voice as he wades through the lesson starting with a zinger from the book and ending with a crescendo from the organ, or the band exalting the lord and admonishing those sinners in the audience to show their fealty through public confession (tears at this point) but don’t forget to pay for this emotional entertainment by dipping deep in those pockets, gotta pay the light bill ya know! Then, emotionally drained they make their way to the parking lot ready to tackle the drudgery that is work only to return exhausted next Sun. For another taste of heaven and yet relieved that Jesus didn’t really come back and take the worthy ones up with him cause ya know I really screwed up Wed. And stole some cash from the business for gigs. Ah, churchianity, don’t you just love it?


Cap’t Jack

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Posted: 27 August 2012 06:46 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 32 ]
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Thevillageatheist - 27 August 2012 06:21 PM

Megachurches are to be expected, religion is “show biz” after all.

Too bad we can’t be like that.

There it is, Mike! The mega church holds an “event” every Sunday with loud music, flashing lights, group participation, hands raised to god and shouting in tongues. Something we’re all used to at a sporting event, say football or baseball. Then a brief announcement as the “main event” of the morning unfolds when the exorter mounts the podium ( not a sexual innuendo like Tim’s of course, let’s be clean about this and none of that porn stuff guys) slowly raising his voice as he wades through the lesson starting with a zinger from the book and ending with a crescendo from the organ, or the band exalting the lord and admonishing those sinners in the audience to show their fealty through public confession (tears at this point) but don’t forget to pay for this emotional entertainment by dipping deep in those pockets, gotta pay the light bill ya know! Then, emotionally drained they make their way to the parking lot ready to tackle the drudgery that is work only to return exhausted next Sun. For another taste of heaven and yet relieved that Jesus didn’t really come back and take the worthy ones up with him cause ya know I really screwed up Wed. And stole some cash from the business for gigs. Ah, churchianity, don’t you just love it?


Cap’t Jack

Sounds good, though it’s not my cup-of-tea.  It might build the ranks. 

P.S. I deny the inference that I was being unclean in referencing the word “vagina”.  In fact all of the vaginas that I recall being familiar with (in my too remote past) were clean.

(Also, if humanists can’t refer to sexuality once in a while, that’s going to rule out a lot of people wanting to be humanists.)

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Posted: 27 August 2012 09:06 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 33 ]
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P.S. I deny the inference that I was being unclean in referencing the word “vagina”.  In fact all of the vaginas that I recall being familiar with (in my too remote past) were clean.


Tim, I was being purposefully prudish to make a point not to condemn your sexual remarks! It was a satire on the Victorian mode of thinking often expressed by the fundies who can’t even lace their conversations with with a sexual innuendo every now and then as sex talk is a no no and will send you to hell where the whores live.


Cap’t Jack

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Posted: 27 August 2012 09:15 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 34 ]
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Thevillageatheist - 27 August 2012 06:21 PM

Megachurches are to be expected, religion is “show biz” after all.

Too bad we can’t be like that.

There it is, Mike! The mega church holds an “event” every Sunday with loud music, flashing lights, group participation, hands raised to god and shouting in tongues. Something we’re all used to at a sporting event, say football or baseball. Then a brief announcement as the “main event” of the morning unfolds when the exorter mounts the podium ( not a sexual innuendo like Tim’s of course, let’s be clean about this and none of that porn stuff guys) slowly raising his voice as he wades through the lesson starting with a zinger from the book and ending with a crescendo from the organ, or the band exalting the lord and admonishing those sinners in the audience to show their fealty through public confession (tears at this point) but don’t forget to pay for this emotional entertainment by dipping deep in those pockets, gotta pay the light bill ya know! Then, emotionally drained they make their way to the parking lot ready to tackle the drudgery that is work only to return exhausted next Sun. For another taste of heaven and yet relieved that Jesus didn’t really come back and take the worthy ones up with him cause ya know I really screwed up Wed. And stole some cash from the business for gigs. Ah, churchianity, don’t you just love it?


Cap’t Jack

Ken Nordine, The Flibberty Jib.

Put on your headphones and turn it up.

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Posted: 27 August 2012 09:25 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 35 ]
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Wow! God loves scat singing. Nice parable though. Darron, where in the hell do you get this stuff? It sounded like a Buddhist or Gregorian chant. And the narrator sounds very familiar.

Cap’t Jack

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Posted: 27 August 2012 09:32 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 36 ]
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Thevillageatheist - 27 August 2012 09:25 PM

Wow! God loves scat singing. Nice parable though. Darron, where in the hell do you get this stuff? It sounded like a Buddhist or Gregorian chant. And the narrator sounds very familiar.

Cap’t Jack

Ken Nordine has been recording television and radio voiceovers since the early 1950s, so you’ve probably heard him a lot and just not known it. If you’re old enough to remember the 1970s Levi Jeans commerical you’ll know why Nordine’s voice sounds familiar. I first heard his stuff on a Kansas City radio station in 1971 when I was in high school. Been a fan since. I have about 36 hours of his recordings in my iTunes collection. Nordine calls his personal work Word Jazz. I recommend it very highly. Tom Waits and the Grateful Dead have backed him on some albums.

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Posted: 27 August 2012 09:38 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 37 ]
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Thevillageatheist - 27 August 2012 09:06 PM

P.S. I deny the inference that I was being unclean in referencing the word “vagina”.  In fact all of the vaginas that I recall being familiar with (in my too remote past) were clean.


Tim, I was being purposefully prudish to make a point not to condemn your sexual remarks! It was a satire on the Victorian mode of thinking often expressed by the fundies who can’t even lace their conversations with with a sexual innuendo every now and then as sex talk is a no no and will send you to hell where the whores live.


Cap’t Jack

Whew! Thank Humanism for that (the part about being prudish to make a point, not the part about being sent to hell where all the whores live… although…hmm).

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As a fabrication of our own consciousness, our assignations of meaning are no less “real”, but since humans and the fabrications of our consciousness are routinely fraught with error, it makes sense, to me, to, sometimes, question such fabrications.

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Posted: 27 August 2012 09:54 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 38 ]
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Ken Nordine has been recording television and radio voiceovers since the early 1950s, so you’ve probably heard him a lot and just not known it. If you’re old enough to remember the 1970s Levi Jeans commerical you’ll know why Nordine’s voice sounds familiar. I first heard his stuff on a Kansas City radio station in 1971 when I was in high school. Been a fan since. I have about 36 hours of his recordings in my iTunes collection. Nordine calls his personal work Word Jazz. I recommend it very highly. Tom Waits and the Grateful Dead have backed him on some albums.

I do remember the commercial, that’s also the year I finished my undergrad work. Yeah, he sounds awfully like a radio announcer or game show host! And backed by the Dead, Very cool. The YouTube video you recommended has several of his cuts so I’ll check them out. Sounds a little like Cab Calloway’s Minnie the Moucher! Love the scat singing.


Cap’tnJack

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Posted: 27 August 2012 09:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 39 ]
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The flibberty-jib-vom-the-blippetty-bop chant could make a nice doxology for the Church of Non-Theistic Humanists.

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As a fabrication of our own consciousness, our assignations of meaning are no less “real”, but since humans and the fabrications of our consciousness are routinely fraught with error, it makes sense, to me, to, sometimes, question such fabrications.

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Posted: 29 August 2012 03:47 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 40 ]
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These churches, Christian or not, claim they’re “spiritual” and yet they need all these show-y off-y buildings. Strange…
(That doesn’t mean these buildings aren’t nice but that’s another story.)

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Posted: 29 August 2012 05:41 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 41 ]
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CheepnisAroma - 29 August 2012 03:47 PM

These churches, Christian or not, claim they’re “spiritual” and yet they need all these show-y off-y buildings. Strange…
(That doesn’t mean these buildings aren’t nice but that’s another story.)

They must be living in a material world…  They could hire Madonna as a youth minister…

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Posted: 30 August 2012 09:56 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 42 ]
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Thevillageatheist - 27 August 2012 06:21 PM

Ah, churchianity, don’t you just love it?

Cap’t Jack

  Churchianity. Love it, great word.

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Posted: 30 August 2012 02:12 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 43 ]
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The question is whether there is a significant number of persons to whom belonging to a church meets some need or desire that cannot otherwise be met.  And if so, are some of those persons basically non-theistic Humanists?  If that is the case, then I think Humanism should bless them with Churches.  Why should only religions provide for that need/desire.  Personally, I want as little to do as possible with churches, but that’s just me.  The Church of Non-Theistic Humanists is not for me, but it could be for others.

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Posted: 30 August 2012 02:19 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 44 ]
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Austin Harper - 27 August 2012 01:45 PM
asanta - 26 August 2012 04:08 PM
TimB - 25 August 2012 01:37 AM

There’s nothing wrong with vaginas.  I actually got my start coming out of one.

....so did Ted Bundy, Pat Robertson, and any number of truly awful people!

But not Macduff, who was “from his mother’s womb untimely ripp’d!”

Almost Shakespearian in its pathos!

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Posted: 03 September 2012 11:48 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 45 ]
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TimB - 27 August 2012 09:59 PM

The flibberty-jib-vom-the-blippetty-bop chant could make a nice doxology for the Church of Non-Theistic Humanists.

I prefer “The Church of the Later Day Athiests”  its easier to remeber. wink

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All the Gods and all religions are created by humans, to meet human needs and accomplish human ends.

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