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The Heaven Dilemma
Posted: 20 December 2012 11:31 AM   [ Ignore ]
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Let’s say I’m a Christian, and my spouse dies. I loved her completely and would have given my life to save her.  On her deathbed I comforted her by telling her we’ll be together again in heaven my sweetest dear. 

Ok, it’s 20 years later, I’ve remarried. And my new wife it turns out is even more lovely, loving, etc. and is truly my soulmate.  I thought my first wife was but my 2nd is the real deal, not to take away anything from wife #1.  So now SHE dies.  Unfortunately I didn’t get to talk to her on her deathbed. 

5 years later I myself die and go to heaven.  Which wife do I go to and proclaim my unending eternal love to, and join her side for all of eternity?

If I choose wife 1 I’ve broken wife 2’s heart, and visa versa.  If I choose both, I piss off god because she frowns upon bigamy.

[ Edited: 20 December 2012 11:34 AM by CuthbertJ ]
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Posted: 20 December 2012 03:18 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Sounds like you need a mediator to work out visitation rights.  wink

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Posted: 20 December 2012 03:55 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Simple solution, Matthew 22:30 turn them all into angels. No sexual relationships in heaven you know.


Cap’t Jack

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Posted: 20 December 2012 04:24 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Funny answers, but my little “dilemma” problem is actually semi-serious.  Of course you and I don’t believe the heaven story. But think of those who seriously do.  And who seriously buy into the notion that they’ll meet loved ones, etc.  To them I think my dilemma could actually be a serious one.  The underlying idea is that when you just leave this notion of heaven as vague and without any kind of detail it kind of makes sense (to those who believe in it that is).  But once you try to put some actual details and “logistics” into it, I think it’d fall apart.

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Posted: 20 December 2012 04:47 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Of course it would because it’s not a reflection of reality. There’s no conundrum here to debate as the conditions for meeting your former spouse/s don’t exist. I’m sure that the scribes who either wrote about or recorded the delimna (probably some smartass follower who thought he had them stumped ) had to provide a response to the question. So,as the bible is the unerring word of god people just took it for gospel, pardon the pun, and it was decided for them that there’s no room in heaven for marriage nor sexual relations of any kind. See Paul and the Shakers. Here’s a few more references:

http://www.openbible.info/topics/marriage_in_heaven

Cap’t Jack

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Posted: 20 December 2012 05:14 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Geez, I’m surprised at you people.  There’s a very easy solution to his problem.  Covert to Mormanism.  That way you can have two wives with no problem.  Of course you’d have had to have had both your wives convert, too.  LOL

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Posted: 20 December 2012 05:45 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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That one’s easy, Occam. Baptize them after they die.

I realize your post was serious, Cuthbert, but TVA gave you the Biblical solution. No sex in Heaven, which automatically precludes it from being Heaven.

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Posted: 20 December 2012 06:02 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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And of course if you want to find out what having a sexless community is like try the Shakers, there’s about ten left since their founding in the 1770’s. Ah, utopia where you worship god, invent the flat broom and three legged stool. Love their peg board too. I’d rather have the sex.


http://xroads.virginia.edu/~hyper/hns/cities/shakers.html

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Posted: 20 December 2012 08:33 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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CuthbertJ - 20 December 2012 11:31 AM

Let’s say I’m a Christian, and my spouse dies. I loved her completely and would have given my life to save her.  On her deathbed I comforted her by telling her we’ll be together again in heaven my sweetest dear. 

Ok, it’s 20 years later, I’ve remarried. And my new wife it turns out is even more lovely, loving, etc. and is truly my soulmate.  I thought my first wife was but my 2nd is the real deal, not to take away anything from wife #1.  So now SHE dies.  Unfortunately I didn’t get to talk to her on her deathbed. 

5 years later I myself die and go to heaven.  Which wife do I go to and proclaim my unending eternal love to, and join her side for all of eternity?

If I choose wife 1 I’ve broken wife 2’s heart, and visa versa.  If I choose both, I piss off god because she frowns upon bigamy.

The authors of the Jesus Christ gospels answered your question which was put to him to trick him: “Now there were seven brothers. (“7” always refers symbolically to the Seven Planetary Rulers thought to be gods, like EL who was also Saturn, and Ishtar who was also Venus, and Isis who was also the Moon, etc). The first died after he had married, and having no offspring, left his wife to his brother. Likewise the second also, and the third, even to the seventh. And last of all the woman died also Therefore, in the resurrection, whose wife of the seven will she be? For they all had her.” Jesus answered and said to them, “Your are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven.” Mt 22: 25-30

Not having died yet nor gone to heaven I don’t know if Jesus is right or not but he’s been right spiritually in most all other important aspects of my Christian walk so I tend to trust Him. What I wouldn’t ever trust are atheists saying they know what happens after the death of the body which is pure unadulterated bullshite, making claims there is no heaven as if they knew what they were talking about. I look forward to meeting my family, friends and loved ones who have passed over to The World to Come, a dimension beyond the material existence we know.

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Posted: 20 December 2012 09:26 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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CuthbertJ - 20 December 2012 11:31 AM

Let’s say I’m a Christian, and my spouse dies. I loved her completely and would have given my life to save her.  On her deathbed I comforted her by telling her we’ll be together again in heaven my sweetest dear. 

Ok, it’s 20 years later, I’ve remarried. And my new wife it turns out is even more lovely, loving, etc. and is truly my soulmate.  I thought my first wife was but my 2nd is the real deal, not to take away anything from wife #1.  So now SHE dies.  Unfortunately I didn’t get to talk to her on her deathbed. 

5 years later I myself die and go to heaven.  Which wife do I go to and proclaim my unending eternal love to, and join her side for all of eternity?

If I choose wife 1 I’ve broken wife 2’s heart, and visa versa.  If I choose both, I piss off god because she frowns upon bigamy.

That is complicated!

This is why religious belief and analytical thinking don’t mix.

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Posted: 21 December 2012 08:52 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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arielmessenger - 20 December 2012 08:33 PM
CuthbertJ - 20 December 2012 11:31 AM

Let’s say I’m a Christian, and my spouse dies. I loved her completely and would have given my life to save her.  On her deathbed I comforted her by telling her we’ll be together again in heaven my sweetest dear. 

Ok, it’s 20 years later, I’ve remarried. And my new wife it turns out is even more lovely, loving, etc. and is truly my soulmate.  I thought my first wife was but my 2nd is the real deal, not to take away anything from wife #1.  So now SHE dies.  Unfortunately I didn’t get to talk to her on her deathbed. 

5 years later I myself die and go to heaven.  Which wife do I go to and proclaim my unending eternal love to, and join her side for all of eternity?

If I choose wife 1 I’ve broken wife 2’s heart, and visa versa.  If I choose both, I piss off god because she frowns upon bigamy.

The authors of the Jesus Christ gospels answered your question which was put to him to trick him: “Now there were seven brothers. (“7” always refers symbolically to the Seven Planetary Rulers thought to be gods, like EL who was also Saturn, and Ishtar who was also Venus, and Isis who was also the Moon, etc). The first died after he had married, and having no offspring, left his wife to his brother. Likewise the second also, and the third, even to the seventh. And last of all the woman died also Therefore, in the resurrection, whose wife of the seven will she be? For they all had her.” Jesus answered and said to them, “Your are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven.” Mt 22: 25-30

Not having died yet nor gone to heaven I don’t know if Jesus is right or not but he’s been right spiritually in most all other important aspects of my Christian walk so I tend to trust Him. What I wouldn’t ever trust are atheists saying they know what happens after the death of the body which is pure unadulterated bullshite, making claims there is no heaven as if they knew what they were talking about. I look forward to meeting my family, friends and loved ones who have passed over to The World to Come, a dimension beyond the material existence we know.

All the other answers kinda missed the point.  Yours didn’t.  You answered from within the Christian perspective which is what I was hoping for.  So to some up what you said Jesus said: “all bets are off in heaven. since we all become angels (well those of us who go to heaven wink ) and angels don’t have concepts of marriage, sex, etc. there really is no dilemma”.  Do I have that right?

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Posted: 21 December 2012 09:18 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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That’s exactly what Cap’t Jack told you in reply #2. It also means that all the platitudes about “You’ll see (insert dead loved one here) in Heaven” are nonsense, because if we become sexless angels in Heaven then we are not who we were on Earth.

[ Edited: 21 December 2012 09:21 AM by DarronS ]
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Posted: 21 December 2012 09:42 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]
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I’m not married, but in the course of my life, I’ve had a lot of cats.  I remember hearing some platitude once about how in Heaven, you’ll find your beloved pets waiting for you, and said under my breath, “Yeah, when you get to Heaven, I’ll be the one completely covered by about thirty five cats all trying to climb in my lap!”  smile

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Posted: 21 December 2012 10:27 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]
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“Yeah, when you get to Heaven, I’ll be the one completely covered by about thirty five cats all trying to climb in my lap!”

Looks like I have a ways to go then. I have 8 living cats and 9 which have “Gone To The Rainbow Bridge.”

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Posted: 22 December 2012 09:37 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]
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“Yeah, when you get to Heaven, I’ll be the one completely covered by about thirty five cats all trying to climb in my lap!”

Looks like I have a ways to go then. I have 8 living cats and 9 which have “Gone To The Rainbow Bridge.”


Cats in Asgard? Odin wouldn’t allow it even if Frigg wanted one. “ah c’mon honey, I was gonna call him Loki ‘cause he’s so mischievous”! “Can’t we just keep him????” “I’ll put his catbox outside of the mead hall”! “Ok, but if he coughs up a hair ball when I have the warriors over for the daily death match his furry ass is history”!

 

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Posted: 22 December 2012 04:21 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]
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Nah, all the cats become kitty-angels so they don’t belong to anyone.  Besides, they couldn’t climb into your lap because it would already be filled by the harp you’d be playing.  LOL

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