2 of 3
2
The Heaven Dilemma
Posted: 29 January 2013 11:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 16 ]
Jr. Member
Rank
Total Posts:  9
Joined  2013-01-29

There is actually dogma about this.  First, there is the scripture about how relationships are different in heaven, as someone else mentioned in the forum.  There is also a certain wording in marriage vows, “Til Death Do we Part.”  Marriage aint forever.

Personally, I like to think that heaven is a vast orgy, a den of debauchery that would make the devil turn a new shade of red.  Like a cosmic spanning Amsterdam, without boundaries… You could be screwing both your former wives, and their new boyfriends.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 01 February 2013 07:34 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 17 ]
Moderator
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5187
Joined  2010-06-16

Unfortunately, since there’s no mention of anyone being born in heaven, probably during the trip there one’s genetalia is left behind, so there’s no screwing, just harp playing.  LOL

Occam

 Signature 

Succinctness, clarity’s core.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 01 February 2013 08:21 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 18 ]
Jr. Member
Rank
Total Posts:  14
Joined  2013-01-30

I was hoping this thread was going to be about something a bit different. But people have touched on what I thought it was going to be about. I am curious if anyone has ever put forward a possible conceptualization of eternal life that isn’t so vague and devoid of experiential fulfillment. In other words, if anyone has read work by Albert Camus, particularly the problem of suicide, life, sentience, and conscience, poses some problems. Namely that it seems to lack meaning that may last eternally. Cause lets face it, eternity is a Friggen Long Time… You could read every book, watch every movie (including every frame of porn ever made) learn to program in every programming language, learn to play every instrument to mastery (assuming having a body) and you would still have…. ETERNITY…. ahead of you… I swear the only thing that would keep one occupied forever is trying to tackle an impossible problem.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 02 February 2013 02:10 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 19 ]
Moderator
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5187
Joined  2010-06-16

You have to realize, T-A, that since most of us here consider heaven and the afterlife to be fairytales, it’s doubtful that we would be interested in serious discussions involving those.  Sort of like the monks who argued about how many angels could dance on the head of a pin.

Occam

 Signature 

Succinctness, clarity’s core.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 04 February 2013 01:54 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 20 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  604
Joined  2011-08-10

The Muslims have it worse than Christians in heaven.

Imagine having all those virgins just for you and having a nagging wife there watching and tsk tsk tsking for all eternity. Bummer.

If that does not soften, you know, things, for Muslims, then nothing will.

Regards
DL

Profile
 
 
Posted: 04 February 2013 08:44 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 21 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  7641
Joined  2008-04-11

I always wondered who would supply the endless female virgins.  smile ...and who would check to make sure their all important virginity remains untouched?

 Signature 

Church; where sheep congregate to worship a zombie on a stick that turns into a cracker on Sundays…

Profile
 
 
Posted: 04 February 2013 08:45 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 22 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  4622
Joined  2007-10-05
asanta - 04 February 2013 08:44 PM

I always wondered who would supply the endless female virgins.  smile ...and who would check to make sure their all important virginity remains untouched?

Oooo! I’ll volunteer.  cheese

 Signature 

“In the beginning, God created the universe. This has made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Profile
 
 
Posted: 05 February 2013 11:00 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 23 ]
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  637
Joined  2012-04-25
TheAudience - 01 February 2013 08:21 PM

I was hoping this thread was going to be about something a bit different. But people have touched on what I thought it was going to be about. I am curious if anyone has ever put forward a possible conceptualization of eternal life that isn’t so vague and devoid of experiential fulfillment. In other words, if anyone has read work by Albert Camus, particularly the problem of suicide, life, sentience, and conscience, poses some problems. Namely that it seems to lack meaning that may last eternally. Cause lets face it, eternity is a Friggen Long Time… You could read every book, watch every movie (including every frame of porn ever made) learn to program in every programming language, learn to play every instrument to mastery (assuming having a body) and you would still have…. ETERNITY…. ahead of you… I swear the only thing that would keep one occupied forever is trying to tackle an impossible problem.

I think that’s a great point, sort of another Heaven Dilemma. Ok so let’s say you have all those virgins (although personally I’d rather they be late 40’s wink ) so what. You have heavenly sex with them say ten times, a hundred times, geez even that’d get boring. I can’t think of a single thing that done for say 100 years wouldn’t become utterly mind numbingly boring.  Even Bethovens 5th would get tiresome.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 05 February 2013 12:45 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 24 ]
Moderator
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5187
Joined  2010-06-16

Quoting T-A:

I swear the only thing that would keep one occupied forever is trying to tackle an impossible problem.

  Nah, that wouldn’t work, either.  It would be easy, given enough time, to prove that it was impossible, thereby causing loss of interest. 

Wait a minute.  If the soul is what gets to heaven, that means the brain is left behind so there’s no thinking, no recognition of anything or anyone, just a huge growing morass of blobs of meaningless souls doing nothing.  snake

Occam

 Signature 

Succinctness, clarity’s core.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 05 February 2013 01:13 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 25 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2887
Joined  2011-08-15

If heaven is characterized by Whatever is unobtainable in life, like say a beautiful garden for the Inuit, or 72 eternal virgins for perpetually horny muslim men, does that mean in my heaven all those souls will be atheists who endlessly seek knowledge? Or is that a conundrum?


Cap’t Jack

 Signature 

One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests.

Thomas Paine

Profile
 
 
Posted: 05 February 2013 04:31 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 26 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  604
Joined  2011-08-10

Thevillageatheist - 05 February 2013 01:13 PM

If heaven is characterized by Whatever is unobtainable in life, like say a beautiful garden for the Inuit, or 72 eternal virgins for perpetually horny muslim men, does that mean in my heaven all those souls will be atheists who endlessly seek knowledge? Or is that a conundrum?

Cap’t Jack

What would make them horny?

burkas-1-2.jpg;http://www.sanfranciscosentinel.com/?p=32312;515;312

Regards
DL

[ Edited: 06 February 2013 06:39 AM by Greatest I am ]
Profile
 
 
Posted: 05 February 2013 06:06 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 27 ]
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2245
Joined  2012-10-27
CuthbertJ - 20 December 2012 11:31 AM

Let’s say I’m a Christian, and my spouse dies. I loved her completely and would have given my life to save her.  On her deathbed I comforted her by telling her we’ll be together again in heaven my sweetest dear. 

Ok, it’s 20 years later, I’ve remarried. And my new wife it turns out is even more lovely, loving, etc. and is truly my soulmate.  I thought my first wife was but my 2nd is the real deal, not to take away anything from wife #1.  So now SHE dies.  Unfortunately I didn’t get to talk to her on her deathbed. 

5 years later I myself die and go to heaven.  Which wife do I go to and proclaim my unending eternal love to, and join her side for all of eternity?

If I choose wife 1 I’ve broken wife 2’s heart, and visa versa.  If I choose both, I piss off god because she frowns upon bigamy.

LL. Become a fundamentalist Mormon amd the problem will be solved. Or become a rational atheist and give up such childish notions as an afterlife.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 05 February 2013 06:11 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 28 ]
Sr. Member
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  2245
Joined  2012-10-27
Occam. - 20 December 2012 05:14 PM

Geez, I’m surprised at you people.  There’s a very easy solution to his problem.  Covert to Mormanism.  That way you can have two wives with no problem.  Of course you’d have had to have had both your wives convert, too.  LOL

Occam

Ah, you scooped me on that one, Occam.  I thought it was such a good answer, too.

.....

Profile
 
 
Posted: 05 February 2013 06:16 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 29 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  4622
Joined  2007-10-05

Hey, Greatest, please fix the code in your post so I don’t have scroll sideways to read this page.

 Signature 

“In the beginning, God created the universe. This has made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Profile
 
 
Posted: 05 February 2013 10:06 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 30 ]
Sr. Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  7641
Joined  2008-04-11
DarronS - 05 February 2013 06:16 PM

Hey, Greatest, please fix the code in your post so I don’t have scroll sideways to read this page.

Is THAT what’s going on? Lol!

 Signature 

Church; where sheep congregate to worship a zombie on a stick that turns into a cracker on Sundays…

Profile
 
 
   
2 of 3
2