SEX IN HEAVEN!
Posted: 03 June 2013 11:01 PM   [ Ignore ]
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Sex in heaven

Sitting in the lounge having a drink in Twin Falls, Idaho on New Year’s Eve with my super religious girlfriend and a monk that I had just pick-up at the airport. I had hired the monk out of Tijuana, Mexico to work with me for a couple months and teach me the ins and outs of dealing with the young Mexican people from Mexico and Central America. 

We had a few drinks and were feeling pretty good and being a smart ass that I am, I said to the monk, there is only one thing I want to know about religion. I understand that once you get to heaven you live forever. If I can have sex forever, count me in, I’m all for religion.

The monk replied, “There is no sex in heaven”.  You don’t have a body, only your spirit goes to heaven.

The face of my super religious girlfriend lost all signs of life as disbelief over took her.

She said in a shocking voice, “What do you mean, NO SEX IN HEAVEN?

And the monk repeated himself saying that in heaven you are a floating spirit like a vapor or cloud with no form.

And the next thing I saw was vast amounts of religion exiting my girlfriend. That was the end of her being super religious, after that she was only marginal on religion at best.

I couldn’t say anything, I was laughing too hard.

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Posted: 04 June 2013 05:32 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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My wife lost interest in in religion as a child after her pastor told her dogs don’t have souls and therefore there are no dogs in heaven.

I like your story better.

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Posted: 04 June 2013 05:36 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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So I guess dogs having sex in heaven is completely out of question.

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Posted: 04 June 2013 07:33 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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I guess that means that there’s no baseball in heaven, either. Something like Field Of Dreams is therefore “up in smoke” . . .

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Posted: 04 June 2013 07:38 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Mike Yohe - 03 June 2013 11:01 PM

Sitting in the lounge having a drink in Twin Falls, Idaho

On an aside, I’ve been to Twin Falls; I teach at a summer jazz camp that was there, which this year moved to Ontario, Oregon. I found Twin Falls to be a nice little town - a bit less to it than I expected, in fact. If anything, the gorge just north of town is definitely worth checking out.

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Posted: 04 June 2013 08:13 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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TromboneAndrew - 04 June 2013 07:33 AM

I guess that means that there’s no baseball in heaven, either. Something like Field Of Dreams is therefore “up in smoke” . . .

Apparently there is nothing in heaven but spirits floating around with nothing to do but adore god.  Sounds like something we should all aspire to.  What fun!

Lois

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Posted: 04 June 2013 09:08 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Lois - 04 June 2013 08:13 AM
TromboneAndrew - 04 June 2013 07:33 AM

I guess that means that there’s no baseball in heaven, either. Something like Field Of Dreams is therefore “up in smoke” . . .

Apparently there is nothing in heaven but spirits floating around with nothing to do but adore god.  Sounds like something we should all aspire to.  What fun!

Lois

So, if, when I get to heaven, all I want to do is float around adoring God, how much of me actually made it into there? Is it really me if I don’t enjoy baseball or sex any more?

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Posted: 04 June 2013 11:12 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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Nah, as a spirit feeling the joy of heaven it’s sort of like having a continuous orgasm forever.  LOL 

Occam

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