what does a hug mean to you?
Posted: 12 October 2013 09:35 PM   [ Ignore ]
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I remember a line in one of the Star Trek episode Balance of power , where Dr. Mc Coy was talking to Capt. Kirk. He said,

“In this galaxy, there’s a mathematical probability of three million earth-type planets…and in all the universe, three million million galaxies like this one. And in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us. Don’t destroy the one named Kirk.”

This to me is a very profound statement because even in our time, this day, right now are we not struggling to place our ideas. our philosophies and our imprint on the sands of time. Is it because we feel ourselves so important in the history of this world we call Earth or is it because we want to be remembered as the single spot of light that brought illumination to those we cared for and the ideals we thought important?

Are we so enamored by the sound of us justifying our existence by defining who we are not or do we really have something to say? Is fighting the good fight becoming more important than the person doing the fighting and if so, are we not as lost as we perceive those we oppose are?

Where in this life is there room for the most important of the beings that occupy it and who indeed are these people? Are these the people surrounding us or the person being surrounded? We make so much time in this life for those we feel important, but what time do we set aside for that one individual that provides the feelings that deem these people important?

What time do we have for ourselves and who gives us the feeling that we are important, as well? This is what a hug means to me. Not a strong hug, not a weak hug, but a sincere hug. The one that means the celebration of a single human being. That human being is ourselves and that person deserves to be appreciated.

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Posted: 13 October 2013 03:43 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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I partially agree, but as far as what hugging means to me,not much.

I hug my grandmother, and some of my aunts. Outside of that, very, very, rarely do I hug people. I hate when people who I don’t know well try to hug me….I’ve enjoyed the sh** that started from those occasions; overall I’m anti hugging.

[ Edited: 13 October 2013 03:47 AM by mid atlantic ]
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Posted: 13 October 2013 06:43 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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People seem to forget at times that they are just as human as everyone else. That is both a compliment and also a designator of limitations. Those that don’t understand this tend to burn themselves out, either by running from or running to their fellow man.

This is where the term, “Physician heal or heel thyself becomes more than just a statement, but a need to preserve the person they are.

(1) Heal meaning to be sure their needs are met, since a person who is unsupported in health only gets less stable if they continue without it.

(2) Heel meaning to stop and take into account the successfulness of their attempts, since some ways of doing things are not only counterproductive, but also could be down right destructive.

The main thing is that people anywhere need to know that they acknowledged for being here. They may not be appreciated and they might just be despised, but they need to know they are counted among those that have been, those that are and those that were.

Ask yourself just why there are some here who act out and I would suggest that this is the way they can feel that they are being realized. This might be a little insane to some, since the logical way to most people would be to be inviting, but who says that humans were ever logical.

We all suffer from our species need to be needed. I think the most useful method of recognition is also the least expensive to give. A simple hug, a smile and maybe a tear for the troubles we all go through.

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Posted: 13 October 2013 06:52 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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mid atlantic - 13 October 2013 03:43 AM

I partially agree, but as far as what hugging means to me,not much.

I hug my grandmother, and some of my aunts. Outside of that, very, very, rarely do I hug people. I hate when people who I don’t know well try to hug me….I’ve enjoyed the sh** that started from those occasions; overall I’m anti hugging.

Physical hugging is an intimate thing and is not for everyone. Fortunately there are as many ways of acknowledging people as their are for ignoring them. I would think that people would opt to support the spirit of others instead of desecrating their soul. By spirit and soul I do not mean this in anyway a spiritual or supernatural entity. I mean the inner child within us all that feels the brunt of the negative remarks of others and is the first to recognize the beauty of things they deem of esthetic quality.

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Posted: 13 October 2013 04:34 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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WuCares - 12 October 2013 09:35 PM

I remember a line in one of the Star Trek episode Balance of power , where Dr. Mc Coy was talking to Capt. Kirk. He said,

“In this galaxy, there’s a mathematical probability of three million earth-type planets…and in all the universe, three million million galaxies like this one. And in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us. Don’t destroy the one named Kirk.”

This to me is a very profound statement because even in our time, this day, right now are we not struggling to place our ideas. our philosophies and our imprint on the sands of time. Is it because we feel ourselves so important in the history of this world we call Earth or is it because we want to be remembered as the single spot of light that brought illumination to those we cared for and the ideals we thought important?

Are we so enamored by the sound of us justifying our existence by defining who we are not or do we really have something to say? Is fighting the good fight becoming more important than the person doing the fighting and if so, are we not as lost as we perceive those we oppose are?

Where in this life is there room for the most important of the beings that occupy it and who indeed are these people? Are these the people surrounding us or the person being surrounded? We make so much time in this life for those we feel important, but what time do we set aside for that one individual that provides the feelings that deem these people important?

What time do we have for ourselves and who gives us the feeling that we are important, as well? This is what a hug means to me. Not a strong hug, not a weak hug, but a sincere hug. The one that means the celebration of a single human being. That human being is ourselves and that person deserves to be appreciated.

I’m not struggling to place my ideas or philosophy on the sands of time.  I struggle to understand our universe, including humanity. The sands of time will take care of themselves.

Lois

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Posted: 14 October 2013 06:15 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Why do you struggle to understand humanity, Lois? I think there is plenty of information out there to make a pretty good sense of human nature. You just have to want to find it. Even hugs are an interesting window into what we are made of. Ethnic groups differ in how much people touch each other (or who touhces whom) just like do people within groups. I was shocked when I came to Spain as a kid to learn that people greet each other with a kiss on daily basis, and later on when I came to Canada and met people from Uruguay and Argentina I was even more puzzled when I saw men exchanging a kiss on a cheek. In Czech Republic we don’t touch each other, except for the occasional handshake, nor do we ask each other how we are when we meet. If you pay an attention to other characteristics that define each group and read a couple of books on evolutionary psychology, things quickly start to make sense.

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Posted: 14 October 2013 09:28 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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First, except in romantic situations, I never hugged when I was younger.  It’s generally accepted now so I go along with it, but I’d never instigate it.  And from careful observation of the way others hug, I get the distinct impression the at least a few of the participants are quite aware of the proximity of their genetalia.  Well, whatever turns them on. smile

Second, sorry George, but from what I’ve seen of people, no one (without exception) really knows what’s going on inside other people, no matter how carefully they observe them.  Hell, most people don’t even know what’s going on inside themselves in spite of being extremely certain that they do. 

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Posted: 14 October 2013 10:08 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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I don’t disagree with you, Occam. My point to Lois, though, was that she doesn’t need to be one of the many people who are completely ignorant of why people behave the way they do. The science may be far from perfect, but we have come a long way.

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Posted: 14 October 2013 05:16 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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George - 14 October 2013 06:15 AM

Why do you struggle to understand humanity, Lois? I think there is plenty of information out there to make a pretty good sense of human nature. You just have to want to find it. Even hugs are an interesting window into what we are made of. Ethnic groups differ in how much people touch each other (or who touhces whom) just like do people within groups. I was shocked when I came to Spain as a kid to learn that people greet each other with a kiss on daily basis, and later on when I came to Canada and met people from Uruguay and Argentina I was even more puzzled when I saw men exchanging a kiss on a cheek. In Czech Republic we don’t touch each other, except for the occasional handshake, nor do we ask each other how we are when we meet. If you pay an attention to other characteristics that define each group and read a couple of books on evolutionary psychology, things quickly start to make sense.

I struggle to understand humanity because it pleases me to do so. You might want to try it sometime. It’s quite addictive.

I said nothing one way or the other about hugs.  Some are welcome and others are not. Sometimes they feel oppressive. But there are bigger problems in the world.

Lois

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Posted: 14 October 2013 05:18 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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George - 14 October 2013 10:08 AM

I don’t disagree with you, Occam. My point to Lois, though, was that she doesn’t need to be one of the many people who are completely ignorant of why people behave the way they do. The science may be far from perfect, but we have come a long way.

I never said anything about being ignorant of why people act the way they do.  You are putting words in my mouth. In fact, I know exactly why people act the way they do—determining factors we have no control over.  wink

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Posted: 14 October 2013 06:55 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Personally, I appreciate hugs from certain people- from my family, I view it as a sign of love and from friends, I view it as a sign of caring and appreciation.  From either group, it can also be a thank you for something done or given or even as a means to comfort.  That said, except with maybe family members, who I sometimes greet with a hug, I don’t give hugs freely and I always offer/ask if one wants one.  However, there was one person I wish I could have hugged, but I would have asked her first and that was Majel Roddenberry.

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Posted: 15 October 2013 07:44 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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I only let my gf, close family members, and a small group of very close friends hug me.  Really those are the only people I let get very close to me at all.  If anyone else does I feel extremely uncomfortable.  I don’t like having my personal space intruded upon.

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Posted: 15 October 2013 05:27 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]
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I agree, and you certainly aren’t going to get a hug from me, however, I’ve missed you so welcome back, D.M. smile

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Posted: 17 October 2013 06:16 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]
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Lois - 14 October 2013 05:18 PM
George - 14 October 2013 10:08 AM

I don’t disagree with you, Occam. My point to Lois, though, was that she doesn’t need to be one of the many people who are completely ignorant of why people behave the way they do. The science may be far from perfect, but we have come a long way.

I never said anything about being ignorant of why people act the way they do.  You are putting words in my mouth. In fact, I know exactly why people act the way they do—determining factors we have no control over.  wink

Have you ever been interested in learning body language?

I’ve always had the sense that people aren’t really as complicated as they think they are. Even when it comes to doing something nice for another person, don’t people get an internal satisfaction in doing the deed.

I was also wondering if anyone else has made the observation that the more crowded an area is the less personable people are with strangers. I was wondering if any of you guys could point me to any material that might shed some light on this. Thank you.

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Posted: 17 October 2013 06:18 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]
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Mriana - 14 October 2013 06:55 PM

Personally, I appreciate hugs from certain people- from my family, I view it as a sign of love and from friends, I view it as a sign of caring and appreciation.  From either group, it can also be a thank you for something done or given or even as a means to comfort.  That said, except with maybe family members, who I sometimes greet with a hug, I don’t give hugs freely and I always offer/ask if one wants one.  However, there was one person I wish I could have hugged, but I would have asked her first and that was Majel Roddenberry.

Sounds like a fellow Trekkie.

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Posted: 17 October 2013 07:58 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]
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WuCares - 17 October 2013 06:18 PM
Mriana - 14 October 2013 06:55 PM

Personally, I appreciate hugs from certain people- from my family, I view it as a sign of love and from friends, I view it as a sign of caring and appreciation.  From either group, it can also be a thank you for something done or given or even as a means to comfort.  That said, except with maybe family members, who I sometimes greet with a hug, I don’t give hugs freely and I always offer/ask if one wants one.  However, there was one person I wish I could have hugged, but I would have asked her first and that was Majel Roddenberry.

Sounds like a fellow Trekkie.

smile  Guilty as charged.

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