This is something I came up with while on a nature walk yesterday, and sort of related to Mozart Link’s posts, less so to Titawhatsamachina.
I’m happy because I’m unhappy. I enjoy fixing things and I enjoy improving the processes of my work, not just the work itself. Sure, I’m happiest when I’m doing what I do best and people around me are supporting me and not hindering me, but to get to the point, to create those happy times, I have to tell a lot of people they are wrong, I have to admit what I don’t know and learn, I have to practice which has no real result other I practiced, I have to rest which looks the same as being lazy.
I can’t solve these paradoxes, and I’m not happy about that. But I’m happy to live in a world where I can work on solving them. A lot of people in that world say they have solved them, and are happy knowing none of this matters, that there is something better waiting for them. To me, that looks more like the laziness I mentioned before. I’m much happier watching and participating in the constant battle of finding what’s right or at least better, of putting out the fires and trying to the find time to work on fire prevention.
That the work will never be done doesn’t cause a problem. That none of this leads anywhere, to some final resolution, doesn’t matter. Why would it if I find joy in working on the problems?