In a recent post I mentioned that my parents didn’t spare, or abuse, the rod, or woodspoon as the case may be, (and it wasn’t such a bad thing either).
During a walk with Maddy, the comment came back and got me to thinking about what makes the difference between constructive corporal punishment and abusive punishment which results in a dysfunctional hateful human later.
Seems to me, explicit, consistent and well understood boundaries are a good start.
I knew why my ass was being paddled and inside I recognized why I had it coming.
Oh and I suppose rod strokes intended to make a point, rather than to inflict real hurt and harm, were a blessing in how I proceeded the experiences.
Receiving punishment, as opposed to being the punching bag for someone else’s anger and venting.
Seems to me, well, in my experience it provided me with lessons long remembered and in hindsight lessons that subsequently enable me to correctly (constructively) traverse life’s challenges.
Guess the other ultimately important parenting key is that we never once doubted our parents deep love and commitment to us, even when our little tribe of three had them climbing the walls and their patience with us was pretty well burned out.