I thought I might as well record my premonition here.
I have always been a very logical and scientific person, skeptical of anything supernatural, but I have recently gone through a complicated miscarriage during which I had a premonition of my death.
This was in August. I’d taken misoprostol which hadn’t worked and the doctor said to me that I’d need a D&C under general anaesthetic. I immediately ‘knew’ that I’d die if I had the general anaesthetic. What followed was the most stressful and terrifying time of my life during which I tried to find a hospital that would perform a similar procedure, an MVA, under local anaesthetic.
I succeeded in this, but things haven’t gone that well since then. The procedure actually didn’t get all of the tissue out, even though I was scanned and told I was in the clear, and I passed another bit of tissue four days later. I’ve been scanned again since then and everything looks fine, but my HCG dropped very slowly. It took six weeks to drop from 18 to 2.
I still feel that I haven’t escaped my fate. I think I could have cervical cancer, although my doctors say I am fine. But I have started getting strange pains behind my pubic bone. Or I may still have very very small amounts of placental tissue left, given how firmly the placenta was attached and how slowly the HCG dropped. From this, I fear I may develop a form of gestational trophoblastic disease, also requiring a hysterectomy under general anaesthetic.
I’m not in a good way. I’ve gone from being a normal, happy, successful person to a nonfunctional human being who cannot work, cannot see anyone, has moved in with her mother, can barely do anything.
My Facebook is facebook.com/jennyhall and you can see where I record the premonition back in August. I guess if something happens and I can’t update on here then you can find out on there because people will post about it.