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Poll
People who ask "What's your sign?" should be...
Encouraged to bore you further. 1
Forgiven for their sins. 1
Be told you’re an Orion. 1
Removed from the gene pool. 7
Total Votes: 10
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What’s your sign?  Mine’s Orion!
Posted: 16 June 2007 07:18 PM   [ Ignore ]
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Doubters know that sinking feeling when astrology comes up in social situations. It used to annoy me so much that I’d be prone to snippy responses like, “Oh, has the conversation turned to 4000-year-old Babylonian bullcrap?” There were times when I tried even dumber responses like logic, “Hmm, if there’s anything too astrology can you tell me why the Western and Eastern astrology would be so different? Stars are stars, after all.”

I handle things better now that I’m an Orion, so if you’ve even been tempted to pull the emergency dive lever when someone asks, “What’s your sign,” tell them you’re an Orion instead, it works like a charm. The two things working in this conversation’s favor are that Orion is a constellation that most people know, at least by name, and basic astronomy is something most haven’t a clue about.

“What’s your sign?”

“Why, I’m a Orion.” This instantly disarms them. Their heads may be packed with notions about Scorpios, Leos, Sagitarians and such, but they have no idea of what to say about an Orion, and the look on their faces will confirm it.

It’s important to keep the initiative here, “Have you ever heard of an Orion? Most people haven’t. It’s a pretty rare sign.” They will be speechless but curious at this point, so carry on, soldier, carry on.

“You know where the signs come from? They’re the constellations that the Sun passes in front of as the Earth revolves around it. That’s why they call it Sun sign astrology, you know, House of Pisces, House of Gemini, House of Whatever… The dates in astrology columns are the time the Sun takes to get from the start to end of an astrological constellation, about 28-30 days.” Of course they don’t know any of this, but they are quietly grateful that you’ve explained it—while you’re setting the hook.

“You know there are 365 days in a year, right, except every four years there’s a February 29th and 366-day leap years.” They do know this, but they don’t know why. Still, if you can get a nod of agreement here, it’s a reassuring touch.

“The calendar needs that extra day every four years because the Earth doesn’t go around the Sun in exactly 365 days. It’s more like 365 and one-quarter days. Every four years those quarters add up to an extra day and we make the adjustment to keep the calendar straight.” This works best if you’re sincere about it, which should be easy because all this is true, but now to reel in the fish.

“As it turns out, the Earth doesn’t revolve around the Sun in exactly 365 1/4 days either, it’s more like 365 1/4 days and 12 minutes, so every 120 years or so they have to put in a February 30th to account for those extra minutes. Every 120 years there is a February 29th and a February 30th. No big deal, but the last time that happened was the year I was born, and my birth certificate will tell you that I was indeed born at 1:37 AM on February 30th.”

Don’t give them time to think. You need to jump in with another answer, “I celebrate my birthday on February 28, just like people born on February 29th usually do, but here’s the strangest part. In most cases, it takes the Sun 28-30 days to pass through one constellation onto the next, but there’s one star between Aquarius and Pisces, I think it in Orion’s foot or something, so the Sun is actually in Orion’s foot for one or two days whenever the February 29th-30th combination rolls around. All of us born at that time are, according to the astrological charts, in the House of Orion.”

If you sell it right, this gets the astrology Jones out of their system, and now the topic can move on to better things.

So, what’s your sign? Or, would any astronomy buffs care to respond with a round of “Spot the Orion’s bullcrap?”

[ Edited: 16 June 2007 08:24 PM by JustAThought ]
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Posted: 16 June 2007 08:19 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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That could work well for someone born Feb. 29, but if you were born May 31- well, they’d chalk it up the the evil twin raising her naughty and twisted little head. LOL  Yup, I’m suppose to be a Gemini and yes I can be different in different places or times.  In reality, it just depends on my mood- if I’m tired, angry, sad, happy, spunky, devilish, etc.  I can be quite the conversationalist or can be quiet so I can just listen and observe.  You get the idea.  Almost anyone could be a Gemini in reality.

I like to play with their minds and say, “Well, my mother thought she had an only child, but what she didn’t realize is that she had twins.”  It’s a great laugh at least for me.  Of course, I have no twin, but I love to poke fun at it.

Oh there’s a poll here.  Um… none of the above?  Cant’ we have a poke fun at it?

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Mriana
“Sometimes in order to see the light, you have to risk the dark.” ~ Iris Hineman (Lois Smith) The Minority Report

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Posted: 16 June 2007 08:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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I haven’t been asked that in quite a while, but as I recall, the last time I answered, “One.  I’ve a very upright person.  that means my cosine is zero.”  While they were trying to figure out what the hell I was talking about, I walked over to another group.

Occam

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Posted: 16 June 2007 08:42 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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See, I would have checked the second box if it had been spelled sines rather than sins.  :grin:

Occam

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Posted: 16 June 2007 08:57 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Wow, you guys sure work harder than I do!  :grin: A simple “I don’t really buy any of that BS.” is about the wittiest response I’ve come up with to that question (which I too haven’t gotten in a loooong time).

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Militant Agnostic: I don’t know, and neither do you!

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Posted: 16 June 2007 09:06 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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As they say, “It’s not work when you’re having fun.”  LOL

Sorry, I have to admit that one of my guilty pleasures is screwing with people’s minds (but only when they deserve it by acting like jerks.)

Occam

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Posted: 16 June 2007 10:04 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Sometimes you have to be on your toes, Mckenzie.  LOL

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Mriana
“Sometimes in order to see the light, you have to risk the dark.” ~ Iris Hineman (Lois Smith) The Minority Report

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Posted: 16 June 2007 10:10 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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I know that it’s politically incorrect, but I voted “Removed from the gene pool.”

I tend to say “Pisces” and smile/nod politely… sometimes covering my mouth as if I’m in deep thought to hide my laughter…

But next time, I think I’ll point out that if astrology is correct, and the horoscopes that I check on MSN on a daily basis to pick something apart are correct as well, then everybody who’s a pisces would have the exact same thing happening to them every day.

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1. God is omnipotent.
Source: Several incidents where I’ve annoyed fundamentalist Christians by challenging God’s power.
2. If God is omnipotent then he can travel faster than the speed of light.
Modus Ponens
3. Nothing can travel faster than the speed of light.
Source: Einstein
Therefore, God is nothing.
QED

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Posted: 17 June 2007 01:40 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that.  I live in a religious community and as a kid when I was feeling rebellious I’d risk eternity in hell and have a peek at what Teen Beat had to say about Saggitarious.  I guess it totally depends what dogma you are surrounded with as far as what ticks you off or annoys you.  I like to wear shirts like ‘Who Would Jesus Bomb’ and the like to attempt to stir the pot around here.  Somewhat entertaining.  But when my brother-in-law starts going off about how we need to teach our kids the fear of hell and how that’s a healthy motivater for right living - now that really is what gets me angry.  I have two small children and he’s been bugging me to take them to Sunday School… don’t get me started.  don’t even get me started.  I’m slightly off topic now, but it’s funny how people will assume everyone else believes what they do.  Whenever i’m asked stuff about religion I never have anything witty to say.  I usually just get hopping mad and try to hold my tongue.  You can’t debate with a brick wall.

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JF

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Posted: 17 June 2007 01:12 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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J Free - 17 June 2007 01:40 AM

  But when my brother-in-law starts going off about how we need to teach our kids the fear of hell and how that’s a healthy motivater for right living - now that really is what gets me angry.  I have two small children and he’s been bugging me to take them to Sunday School…  Whenever i’m asked stuff about religion I never have anything witty to say.  I usually just get hopping mad and try to hold my tongue.

How about, “They don’t accept hearsay evidence in courts.  I can only believe and take orders from the source, not from some secondary or more removed middleman.  When god, him/herself, tells me my kids aire liable to end up in hell or to send my kids to Sunday school, I’ll consider it.  So, don’t give me fairytales unless you can get god, him/herself, to show up and have a conversation with me.” 

Occam

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Posted: 04 August 2007 06:48 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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tongue wink My sign is “Rough road ahead. Please use caution.”

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In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holely Goat I bring the truth

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Posted: 04 August 2007 07:19 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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My response is always the same…

“I don’t believe in astrology, I think it’s a load of old bollocks. But then, most Capricorns do.”

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There are 10 types of people in the world.

Those who understand binary numbers and those who do not.

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Posted: 05 August 2007 02:22 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]
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I went ahead and told someone that I was Pisces the other day and was told:

“Ooh… Pisces are more in tune with the Sixth Sense.”
rolleyes Uh huh… Uh huh… Yeah…

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1. God is omnipotent.
Source: Several incidents where I’ve annoyed fundamentalist Christians by challenging God’s power.
2. If God is omnipotent then he can travel faster than the speed of light.
Modus Ponens
3. Nothing can travel faster than the speed of light.
Source: Einstein
Therefore, God is nothing.
QED

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Posted: 05 August 2007 04:01 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]
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Pisces
Capricorn Rising
Moon in Scorpio
Mercury in Aries
Venus in Aquarius
Mars in Scorpio
Jupiter in Aries
Saturn in Libra
I don’t bother remembering the non-visible planets.

It is amazing how fast that shuts people up.

ROFL

psik

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Fiziks is Fundamental

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Posted: 05 August 2007 06:35 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]
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Gee, I wonder if all the astrology nuts are upset and concerned with whatever their Pluto was in, now that it’s no longer a planet?  LOL

Occam

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Posted: 06 August 2007 08:52 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]
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This Crop Circle proved that Pluto was a planet.

Kimble-13-08-06-oh.jpg

Take that astronomers.

ROFLMA0

psik

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Fiziks is Fundamental

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