Of course the apples would be eaten ceremoniously, either by the family… or “Santa!” You know… with an apple core by the fireplace in the morning.
Keep going, you’re creating a whole new tradition!!!
Oh, you have no idea… I’ve already constructed a base platform for a related website:
APOLOGETIC MINISTRIES FOR THE CHURCH OF SANTA CLAUS
Abstract: An apologetics website that defends the belief that the eternal Santa Claus exists and has all of the powers ascribed to him in Christmas songs, etc., with information on the doctrine of the prophet Santa Claus as is relayed through Santa inspired songs.
This information includes:
1. Santa’s purpose: to give presents to good people and humiliate the bad people by not giving them presents.
2. Santa’s powers: quasi-omniscience (“He sees you when you’re sleeping, He knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good,” quasi-omnipresence, levitation, shape shifting (to fit down chimneys), unquenchable appetite (milk and cookies at almost every house), etc.
3. Well documented rebuttals to criticism that the existence of Santa Claus, as he is portrayed by millions of people around the world every year, is false.
4. Essays defending Santa’s goodness and Clausian thought.
What makes the Church of Santa Claus similar to, but even better than Christianity?
a. Santa does miracles every year and won’t send you to hell.
b. All Santa songs are inspired by Santa and are profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness… (but there are some that are false!! These are analogous to biblical Apocrypha).
c. There are superior Clausian equivalents to everything Christian: Santa instead of the convoluted notion of a God/Jesus/Holy Spirit Trinity (and Santa, of course, has similar powers of supernatural knowledge, quasi- omnipresence, levitation, and other various miracles. Santa is eternal, omni- benevolent and lives to give), Santa’s first earthly existence can be proven historically, unlike Jesus, elves and black Petes instead of “angels,” Santa’s workshop at the North Pole instead of “heaven” in some other dimension, nine- not twelve, reindeer (Rudolph is “Peter”), Santa encourages people to write Him letters of what they want… similar to “prayer” but much more organized, etc…
d. There is proof of Santa’s actual historical existence (and therefore also His supposedly mythical existence) as Sinterklaas, Saint Nicholas of Myra, Kristopher Kringle (an eternal being with shape-shifting abilities gets bored with one measly form).
e. Santa has a strict moral code (be vigilant, don’t cry, don’t pout) that’s attainable.
f. Would you rather have your kids sit on Santa’s lap or the local priest?
3. Controversial Issues:
a. Does Santa advocate altruism? The Words say, “He knows if you’ve been bad or good” (a veiled threat that how you behave will determine whether or not you’ll get what you want on Dec. 24th), “so be good for goodness’ sake” (isn’t this superfluous after the previous line? They’re already terrified they won’t get what they want if they misbehave)
b. Claus and effect- omnipresent or just REALLY fast?
c. Clausian decadence. Why is Santa obese? Should one eat as much as they want if they can do it without dying?
d. Should Santa be able to whip his reindeer, and if so, should he whip his elves too?
e. Is Santa a communist?