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Joke
Posted: 05 January 2009 01:22 AM   [ Ignore ]
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The only justification for posting this here is that it was told by the speaker (a mathematician) at
a CFI lecture I attended this morning at their Hollywood, CA headquarters. 

{You’ll have to imagine some things since the posting symbols are limited.  Imagine that the x’s
are superscripts}

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant.  One said, “It’s disgusting how little the
average person knows about mathematics.”  He then excused himself to go to the lavatory.

The other mathematician called a waitress over and handed her ten dollars.  She said, “I’m not
that kind of girl.”

“No, what I’d like you to do when I call you back to the table is answer
ex

A few minutes later the first mathematician returned.  The second said, “I think people
understand much more about math than you think.  For example, let’s call that waitress over.”
She came to the table and he wrote on a sheet of paper

  ∫ exdx =

“Could you write the answer to this, please?

She wrote   ex + c.

There were about a hundred older Secular Humanists there, and I was surprised and delighted
that about eighty of them cracked up at the joke.

Occam

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Posted: 05 January 2009 02:05 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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OK, for those who’ve forgotten their calculus, the integral of e to the x dx is e to the x, and mathematicians all know that, but to to be very precise and rigorous, there could be a constant attached, and one learns to add that.  The joke was that instead of the waitress just parrotting what the mathematician told her to respond, she did a more precise job, that is, had enough mathematical knowledge to correct the mathematician.

Occam

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Posted: 05 January 2009 08:02 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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I never took calculus, so I didn’t forget.  I’m still stuck with 1 man + 1 woman = 3, unless they are male and female cats/dogs, then 1 + 1 could equal up to 10 or 12.  LOL

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Mriana
“Sometimes in order to see the light, you have to risk the dark.” ~ Iris Hineman (Lois Smith) The Minority Report

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Posted: 05 January 2009 08:19 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Mriana - 05 January 2009 08:02 PM

I never took calculus, so I didn’t forget.  I’m still stuck with 1 man + 1 woman = 3, unless they are male and female cats/dogs, then 1 + 1 could equal up to 10 or 12.  LOL

Now days with IVF and fertility treatments and medical advances, 1 man + 1 woman can still equal 10!
I remember the woman who had 7 children about 10 years ago called them ‘god given’ although she conceived via fertility treatments and was head down on strict bed rest from her 3rd month and on TPN (IV nutrition) for most of that time. After early delivery, about half were on ventilators for a time, some went home on oxygen and several have CP and learning disabilities. I see the hand of modern medicine—-god apparently said NO very loudly!

By the way—-good joke Occam LOL ! I was trying to look up the equation before asking for an explanation as I never took calculus red face

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Church; where sheep congregate to worship a zombie on a stick that turns into a cracker on Sundays…

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Posted: 05 January 2009 09:26 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Glad I wasn’t the only one who never took calculus and yes, you are right, asanta, even with humans and modern science 1 + 1 could also equal 10.  LOL  I have a naughty sense of humour, esp when it comes to math.

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Mriana
“Sometimes in order to see the light, you have to risk the dark.” ~ Iris Hineman (Lois Smith) The Minority Report

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Posted: 06 January 2009 12:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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You might have seen the CFI CEO R. Lindsay challenging other humanists to submit their jokes on the new CFI blog. Since I have never before tried to come up with a joke of my own, I thought I would test it here first.

Okay, here it goes:

How many theists does it take to change a light bulb? One: a father changing the light bulb, a son holding the ladder, and Thomas Edison.  confused

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Posted: 06 January 2009 01:39 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Hmm, how about this one:

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They don’t need to. The are all Bright enough to provide illumination themselves.

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Posted: 06 January 2009 03:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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I’ve never been good at these things, but a variation on your first:  None, if god wanted it, he’d merely say, “Let there be light.”

Or, How many Mormons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  Twelve.  One middle aged man and eleven of his underaged brides.

Or how many agnostics does it take to change a lightbulb?  They can’t until they have proof of which way to turn it.

Or how many fundamentalist Moslems does it take to change a lightbulb?  None.  Either the lightbulb changes itself or it gets shot.

Geez, these are addictive. 

Occam

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Posted: 06 January 2009 03:29 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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How many Episcopalians (my upbringing) does it take to change a light bulb?  Two.  One to call a repairman and one to mix the martinis.

PS.  Surprisingly, this also works for How many gay men…  Just add “hunky” before “repairman”.  (Note:  I’m also a gay man.)

[ Edited: 06 January 2009 03:33 PM by the PC apeman ]
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Posted: 06 January 2009 04:46 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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the PC apeman - 06 January 2009 03:29 PM

How many Episcopalians (my upbringing) does it take to change a light bulb?  Two.  One to call a repairman and one to mix the martinis.

PS.  Surprisingly, this also works for How many gay men…  Just add “hunky” before “repairman”.  (Note:  I’m also a gay man.)

LOL  Oh that is oh so true of Episcopalians (Former one myself).  And who says straight women can’t add the word hunk too?  There are Chippendale type repairmen.  :D

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Mriana
“Sometimes in order to see the light, you have to risk the dark.” ~ Iris Hineman (Lois Smith) The Minority Report

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Posted: 06 January 2009 04:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Here’s one I just thought of.We’ll do it like the Mad Lib Comics in the New Yorker.You can post answers that you see fit.

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? vampire

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Row row row your boat gently down the stream.  Merrily Merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream!

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Posted: 06 January 2009 05:04 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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According to psychologists, it just takes one, but it has to want to change.

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Mriana
“Sometimes in order to see the light, you have to risk the dark.” ~ Iris Hineman (Lois Smith) The Minority Report

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Posted: 06 January 2009 05:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]
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Mriana - 06 January 2009 05:04 PM

According to psychologists, it just takes one, but it has to want to change.

Yes,I like that. grin

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Row row row your boat gently down the stream.  Merrily Merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream!

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Posted: 06 January 2009 05:43 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]
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[  more mathematician jokes ]

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Posted: 06 January 2009 07:06 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]
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VYAZMA - 06 January 2009 05:17 PM
Mriana - 06 January 2009 05:04 PM

According to psychologists, it just takes one, but it has to want to change.

Yes,I like that. grin

Thanks but it isn’t quite a new one.  It’s been around for a while, so I didn’t actually make it up.  LOL

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Mriana
“Sometimes in order to see the light, you have to risk the dark.” ~ Iris Hineman (Lois Smith) The Minority Report

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Posted: 06 January 2009 07:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]
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The math jokes you linked to are GREAT! LOL

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Church; where sheep congregate to worship a zombie on a stick that turns into a cracker on Sundays…

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