Let me ask you: If men were to culturally change their consciousness about their attitudes and treatment towards women don’t you think this would reflect in sexual violence?
I object to using phrases like bitch, cunt, pussy, faggot, sissy, etc because if you notice some of the most insulting words we use towards other men are derogatory towards women. Comparing another male to a female is about as insulting as anything can be. Also, checking how we define what is sexy or erotic is important. Robert Jensen has written extensively about this in relation to pornography.
Now I am clearly not opposed to eroticism or sex and all of that, but I dont find dominating my wife to be what turns me on. And at home there is a conscious effort to balance tasks. Generally women service men by cooking, cleaning, child care and sex. Men’s roles can largely be viewed as playing with children and doing yardwork and men more often not have more time for social activities.
Case in point, my wife’s best friend and her husband pulled in $50,000 last year. She made 35,000 and he 15. She works longer hours and does more cooking, cleaning and child care (one child with him and two of his from a previous relationship). He hangs out with his friends considerably more than her and when she does get to go out she usually has to find someone other than him to watch the kids.
This does not fly in my home. I would never do that to my wife and she would never tolerate it - and when issues arise I have no problem in correcting it (and it usually is me and I tend to find it is due to my own sexist upbringing). We just had a child 5 weeks ago and she is out on leave. She watches the baby during the day and I will get home at 630 tonight and watch her till its time to go to bed. Actually I get Fri-Sun off so that means this weekend I am on baby detail all weekend long. We balance out tasks and responsibilities. We respect one another and we empower one another.
When I am out and hear some 15 yo kid spout off sexist remarks I check him. The point is that improved gender and sexual relations can and are occuring and men need to not only check their attitudes and treatment towards women but check their fellow men too.