Darron, Thanks for pointing out that the original post was about 2 years old. From now I will always check out the posting date – since I am interested in getting the thoughts of the original guy that made the post. After two years in a Muslim country – he could very well be dead! Let’s check out the time line on the posts and try to see what happened:
I will make quick TT summaries of all of the posts – which hopefully will capture the main ideas.
Day 1: Posts from 26 May 2010
Berkshire – I’m going with this Muslim girl so I am now checking out your Atheist Website to: “I’d like to get some different views and especially from Muslim women who have found themselves in a similar situation”.
CFI immediately responds:
1. Dougsmith: Welcome. Be Honest. Remember, this could be for the long term.
2. Mriana: Welcome, but to play along to get along - may end up in misery.
3. Dead Monkey: Talk about it, explain your thoughts, try to come to a consensus.
4. Occam: Marriage is tough under the best of circumstances. Get a new girlfriend.
5. African Shumba: Islam is tough. Convert completely or get a new girlfriend.
So in the first day, we have 5 helpful, supportive posts from CFI.
Day 2: Posts from 27 May 2010
1. Asanta: Can you live with Islam and having your kids be Muslims? Remember, being an apostate in a Muslim country could get you killed.
2. DarronS: Your girlfriend is in love with the person she wants you to become – and this may not be you at all! Try to find someone who will accept you as you are.
So at this point we have seven good responses from CFI. Now is the time for Berkshire to respond to the advice – and he does not. As a matter of fact, the only posting that Berkshire ever made was his initial post.
1. SpacyCheese: People do strange things when in love.
2. Singapore Atheist: My wife is sad about not going to Church anymore. You can have difficult relationships with religious relatives.
3. Orphelia Benson: Apostasy is a capital crime. Check out Ibn Warraq posts for advice.
1. maksim – Welcome to the CFI forum. (Looks like maksim also did not look at the posting dates)
1. Naikaidiver: – We were in love – but I could not accept her religion and she could not turn her back on her religion and her family. We parted.
2. Dougsmith: You made the correct decision.
And now – like almost 2 years after the original post miminoamoa_jack resurrects these ancient posts to say effectively:
27 Jan 2012: Can you really be happy with each other? Perhaps you should break up.
Then, thinking that this is a recent post, chiangalice contributes:
30 Jan 2012: Her family will not accept a non-muslim groom. One of you will have to abandon your religion. Give this serious thought.
Then I (Ted) comes along and – thinking that all the posts are recent – attempts to probe the soul of Berkshire - as it appears that Berkshire could be making a mistake that could plunge his life into misery and possibly cost him his life. My approach is to challenge him:
“…I seriously question you motives”.
This should have been a red flag. And if Berkshire was still alive – he should have respondedt. If Berkshire responded, then we could have made progress in determining what his true feelings were, what his situation was, and how we could best proceed to help him with his problem.
The fact that Berkshire never responded – never gave CFI a “Thank you” email – supports my guess that the motives of Berkshire were in question.
Although I do not respect religions based on superstitions, I do respect many of the deeply religious people who have given their lives in service to others and those who have had the courage to challenge the system. For me, this includes Martin Luther, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, David Livingstone, and Albert Schweitzer.
Note: My general approach is to overstate my case. Do so in clear language that is easy to understand. Post it. See what comes back. And then hope to get closer to reality with the help of the inputs from the replies.