Religion and Corporal Punishment - You Gotta be Joking
Posted: 15 September 2006 09:52 PM   [ Ignore ]
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[color=red:96f9cc093e][size=18:96f9cc093e][b:96f9cc093e]"Religion + Corporal Punishment - You gotta be Joking" [/b:96f9cc093e][/size:96f9cc093e] [/color:96f9cc093e]

Last week was a period of one of my happiest moments in my life. :D Why?

[b:96f9cc093e]Because I heard that our government (South Africa) has drafted a bill that will outlaw all forms of corporal punishment including the use of corporal punishment by parents to discipline a child[/b:96f9cc093e].

The reason I am happy for this [b:96f9cc093e]ANTI-CORPORAL PUNISHMENT BILL (ACP Bill)[/b:96f9cc093e] to be enacted,  is because from experience I have learnt that there is nothing to gain by applying corporal punishment to a child in order to teach or discipline a child.

Firstly, let me relate a personal incident on why I am convinced that corporal punishment on children is not the answer to solve problems. I am a divorced father of two wonderful kids that are living with me. I take pride in having brought up my children to be strong willed, independent and yet caring human beings. Years ago (12 years to be exact) I remember a week where my daughter who was 9 years old at the time, kept on forgetting her class work at school and this required me to go all the way back to school, which was quite a distance away. I remember it happening the third time for that week and in a moment of anger I slapped my daughter lightly on the hand to remind her that her forgetfulness was inexcusable and warranted corporal punishment.

This was the [color=darkred:96f9cc093e][b:96f9cc093e]first time [/b:96f9cc093e][/color:96f9cc093e]I applied corporal punishment to my daughter and also the[color=green:96f9cc093e] [b:96f9cc093e]LAST time[/b:96f9cc093e].[/color:96f9cc093e] This incident of corporal punishment was not remarkable in itself but this punishment left a lasting impression on my daughter. Although my daughter had forgotten much of her young life and most of the GOOD memories we shared with each other, the incident of corporal punishment remains constant in her memory and she keeps on reminding me of this BAD incident.

[color=green:96f9cc093e][b:96f9cc093e]This memory implanted in my daughter of the corporal punishment made me realise that this must have been a TRAUMATIC experience on my daughter for this incident to be remembered so vividly.[/b:96f9cc093e][/color:96f9cc093e]
Since that incident of corporal punishment I have slowly developed other methods of discipline based on [color=blue:96f9cc093e][b:96f9cc093e]LOVE OF A CHILD. [/b:96f9cc093e][/color:96f9cc093e]These methods are to numerous to unfold on this blog and also a personal way of my unique life that may have worked for me but may not work for the next parent. Yet when I see the love and happiness that I share with my children I know it has worked. Hopefully my daughter will share this non violent ACP with her kids as well.

[color=red:96f9cc093e][b:96f9cc093e]I have expounded this personal experience to philosophize the theme ¤WHY ON EARTH WOULD A LOVING FATHER OR MOTHER USE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT TO ACHIEVE A PURPOSE OF DISCIPLINE WHEN ALL IT ACHIEVES IS A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE ON THE CHILD.[/b:96f9cc093e][/color:96f9cc093e]
On the day that news of this draft bill (ACP) broke out there has been a frantic portrayal by the Freedom Front as a party that opposes this legislation. A member of the Freedom Front appeared on Radio 702 explaining that by his cultural values (I assume Christian cultural values) he is opposed to this legislation as it impedes on the right of parents to choose what punishment should be applied to discipline children and also that the ACP bill will lead to many more children taking to drugs and resorting to violence.  Yet the Freedom Front spokesman provided no explanation why his perceptions are true.

[b:96f9cc093e]In a brief summary I am opposed to corporal punishment on children by parents because:[/b:96f9cc093e]

[list:96f9cc093e][color=darkblue:96f9cc093e][b:96f9cc093e]The punishment is normally undertaken in a fit of anger by a parent.
The parent must have some violent tendencies to invoke a violent discipline on the child.
The parent in most circumstances is uneducated or has limited education to be able to find non violent alternative methods of discipline.
The parent does NOT LOVE or fails to understand the meaning of LOVE in order to discipline a child with violence.
The parent fails to understand that a LOVING method of discipline can correct an indiscipline of a child WITHOUT THE TRAUMA.
The parent fails to understand that violence does not treat an undisciplined child but merely that the child may resort to violence in the future to correct problems he or she may encounter.
The parent who resolves to use corporal punishment as a means of discipline lacks the self confidence in himself / herself to show love as a means of discipline.
The parent who fails to carry out a duty or is undisciplined himself / herself will NOT ACCEPT CORPORAL PUNISHMENT as a means of correcting that undisciplined behavior yet finds NO PROBLEM to punish a child with corporal punishment.[/b:96f9cc093e][/color:96f9cc093e][/list:u:96f9cc093e]

The question I would like to pose is:

[b:96f9cc093e]Why is there a perception that religious parents love corporal punishment?[/b:96f9cc093e]

I know from the Islamic Shariah, Muslim husbands are allowed to beat their wives if they are undisciplined or fail to obey their husbands. It follows then that to apply corporal punishment to children is a short step away for a Muslim. I get the sense that this is the feeling of Christians as well after hearing the support of the Freedom Front spokesman acting on his religious feelings.

[b:96f9cc093e]I conclude by asking members of this CFI blog[/b:96f9cc093e]

[color=red:96f9cc093e][b:96f9cc093e]Do you support my government (South Africa) in its bid to BAN CORPORAL PUNISHMENT?

And IF NOT WHY NOT?[/b:96f9cc093e][/color:96f9cc093e] :?:

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Fayzal Mahamed,
Johannesburg, South Africa.

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Posted: 20 October 2006 06:55 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Personally, I cheer for your country’s ACP bill - I wish every country had one. Studies I’ve read show that children are more likely to have problems with violence and self-control later in their lives when they’re punished by spankings or other forms of CP.

Moreover, it just doesn’t make sense that it should be illegal to hit another person that you disagree with but you can hit your own children if you don’t like their behavior. You’d think, if anything, that it would be the other way around, wouldn’t you? At least the adult you hit would be more able to defend him or herself.

Whether it’s for discipline or not, it’s not okay to just go around hitting people without a very good reason.

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Posted: 21 October 2006 02:58 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Very nice post, and I agree.  I too am guilty of disciplining my children with a light swat on the backside (several years ago, lightly and infrequently), and I regret it.  It’s a copout and a shortcut to thoughtful and reasonable discipline.

WHY ON EARTH WOULD A LOVING FATHER OR MOTHER USE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT TO ACHIEVE A PURPOSE OF DISCIPLINE WHEN ALL IT ACHIEVES IS A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE ON THE CHILD.

Not only is it ingrained in Islam, how about Christianity (and the OT as well- that’s a beatdown from cover to cover)?  God purposefully sends his son to be tortured and killed?

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Posted: 25 November 2006 08:09 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Don’t you people know:

“Don’t fail to correct your children. They won’t die if you spank them.” Proverbs 23:13.

Spanking children is the will of God!

And stoning them to death, for that matter:

18 “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, 19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city. 20 And they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ 21 Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones; so you shall put away the evil from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear. (Deut. 21)

Truly God is good!

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