September 7, 2011
I had a good time this week finding totally logical reasons for God’s existence. Not only are these obviously true, but a lot of them are quite funny.
Here is a great video outlying some of the impeccable evidence for God’s existence:
These are just a few examples of some pretty sound arguments. After finding this video I was curious as to what else I could find. There are hundreds of proofs of God’s existence on the wonderful world wide web. I would love to share with you some of my favorites.
(1) My mommy and daddy told me that God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY (V) (recursive internet edition)
(1) There exists a web page (http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm)
(2) That page has hundreds of purported proofs of the existence of God.
(3) They can’t all be wrong.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM EGOTISM
(1) The Creator of the universe cares about ME, my thoughts, and even my sex life.
(2) He responds to my prayers.
(3) He hates all the same people I do.
(4) His orders are always to do what I would have done anyway.
(5) Everyone who disagrees with me will spend an eternity in Hell.
(6) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM LABELING, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM POPULARITY
(1) If you don’t believe in God you’re a geek.
(2) Geeks are unpopular at school; no one cares about them.
(3) The popular kids believe in God.
(4) So should you, if you want to be popular.
(5) Therefore, God Exists.
ARGUMENT FROM SPOILED CONSUMERISM
(1) I want God to exist.
(2) I always get what I want.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
SALMA HAYEK’S ARGUMENT FROM BIGGER BOOBS
(1) As a young girl, I prayed for bigger boobs.
(2) I grew bigger boobs.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
And my personal Favorite:
ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY (II), a.k.a. TERCEL’S ARGUMENT (II)
(1) I have a large number of arguments for God.
(2) There is a small chance that at least one of them is true.
(3) Using voodoo probability calculations, this means that there is a much greater chance that all of them are true taken together!
(4) And this ISN’T just the mathematical version of the Ontological Proof; I’m a real mathematician and you obviously can’t understand this proof because you don’t know as much about math as I do.
(5) Oh, and don’t confuse things by mentioning how many atheistic arguments there are, and the probability of each of them being correct…
(6) Or the fact that I basically pulled the probability of each of my arguments being correct out of my ass…
(7) And admit that I know more about math than you, and you’ll see that…
(8) Therefore, God exists.
...and you say there is no God.
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About the Author: John ChesleyJohn Chesley is an undergrad at the University of Northern Iowa (UNI) and also the Director of Membership for the University of Northern Iowa Freethinkers & Inquirers (UNIFI). This will be my third year attending UNI studying Geology with Environmental Emphasis
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